Dear Aniki

Nov. 13, 2015

Dear Asshole,

It's been about three days since you left. You didn't tell me why you left, but the situation sound too good. I hope everything's okay. You worry me so much sometimes, so please don't get into too much trouble.  Please come back. Please don't leave forever. When you said you'd be gone only for a few months I hope it's true.

I can't wait to hear all of your stories, and I have a ton to share with you, but before we do that... Maybe you could tell me what you meant by I'm "like a piano, giving you those feelings you don't understand"? You're a weird guy, and sometimes you say weird things, so I've never been able to tell what this meant.  I'm still waiting for these scars to heal, but I'm sure they'll fade soon.

Today was pretty good, in the morning it rained really hard, and all the streets were flooded.  I wonder if it's raining where you are.  At school, we spent the morning doing this stupid dance workshop thing, and this perv in my class was like legit trying to rape me and petra san.  There was this one part, when he gassed and it stank like hell.  I also learned Roy samas weakness.  If I talk about periods, he'll legit die. I went up to him and said "imagine the blood drenched tampon being slowly slipped out" and he died. Of course, he got revenge by mind raping me, (not what it fucking sounds like). He'd give me an impossible math question and expect me to solve it.  Later, the teacher was saying that something about our class brought "a darkness to the school. And he said especially the ones who watch anime." When he said darkness, everybody kinda looked at me, and I wasn't surprised tbh.  He said he did "research" on anime and he thinks it's all about huge boobs and tiny mini skirts.  After, he asked me if he was accurate. I said it CAN be true, but most of us try to avoid, or just do our best to ignore the gigantic boobs.  I said how there are more than just sexy and violent animes, like hetalia and ouran.
Thankfully, nobody noticed my arms.

Tonight, a guy by the name of Vargas texted me. I didn't know him, I asked why he texted me. He said i had his name. I explained, and was a little weirded out by the whole thing. It kinda reminded me of when we first met. He was so kind to me, even though I was acting a little cold towards him.

I remember when we first met, I was so cheery, and energetic. You always used so many periods, and I think all you really wanted was for me to leave you alone. Even before I knew much about you, there was something about you that was... I guess you could say irresistible. You were an ass, but to me, you were a nice ass. I could see how kind and funny you really were, and I guess past your cold heartedness. I admit it, I'm a selfish idiot. It made me so happy just to hear from you, so I texted you all the time. Im sorry for annoying you, but the reason I call you big bro is because you've really been like a big bro to me.  Before I knew we were the same age, I assumed you were at least three or four years older than me. You talked to me like I was your annoying little sister, and I was okay with that, maybe even liked it.  I always imagined if we knew each other irl, you'd ruffle my hair, and pat my head. I thought of if we shared a room, I would always make a huge mess, and you would always be pissed off about it. In the mornings before school, I'd wake you up by blowing a trumpet in your face, and scare the living shit outta you.   I imagined me hugging you every time we said goodbye, and you reluctantly hugging back. 

You're my family that I got to choose.  I just wanna be friends, all I want. I just want you to think of me as a friend. I'll never know if you just text back because you don't wanna be rude, but thank you.

I realized, that could've been the same
way Vargas felt about me. He said he wanted to be my friend... All I ever wanted was to be your friend. I guess I'll give this guy a chance, he seems like he could be nice. I mean every Germany needs an Italy.

Please don't forget about me, asshole.

~ your suicidal brat