Love| a Joe Sugg fanfic

Alt. 9

Amber's P.O.V.

I just denied him. I can't quite believe the words actually came out of my mouth. I love Joe, I really do and I wanted to say yes but.. But what if Jake was right? What if Joe was just altering my life decisions? What if I'm useless and pathetic. I don't deserve him, he deserves someone who hasn't got an abusive brother and parents who are blind to it all. The drive back to Brighton was silent, both of us clearly thinking. I looked over at Joe at some points in the journey and he looked perfect, as usual, but he had small tears in his eyes and he had a tight grip on the steering wheel, and not to mention the fact that his eyebrows were knitted together indicating how deep in thought he was. I hated seeing him like this. "Joe.?" I said very quietly.

"Yeah, Amber?" He asked, eyes still trained on the road.

"Can we just forget everything that happened in London a moment ago? Like can we just remember you telling Jake how it is and forget the last part." My voice was getting hoarse towards the end, I was desperately trying to hold back a sob too. "Everything will be easier if we just forget about it." I took a deep breath.

"How can I forget about it when the girl I have liked my whole life turned me down? How can I forget this feeling that I'm not good enough for you? Can you please tell me why I should, Amber? Because I can't. I'll scream it from the rooftops if I have too. I'll go on national - wait no - international TV and shout it so the whole damned world can hear me. I like you so much it hurts me, Amber. When you were with Jack for that short amount of time it absolutely tore me apart, you saw that. If you got with any other guy again in the future I'd have the same reaction. I feel as though you're blind to it, because people say it's obvious. The way that I listen to your stories, the way that I am always there for you, day or night, in the same continent or not, heck, even if we are on different fucking planets I'd be there. I wish you'd realise that." He was distraught, the small tears that were once being held in his gorgeous eyes were now growing into large streams that were pouring down his face.

"We have to forget about it, Joe, we just do. It's tough, I know, it's tough for me too, but we've got to do this for the sake of our friends and even for our friendship. Please, don't make me feel worse than I already do for this whole thing!" I was crying too by this point. Joe pulled over.

"I will, but only for you. I just hope that at all points you will keep what I just said to you in the back of your mind, because I know it's true, our friends know it's true, fuck, even you know it's true. But lets just go back and act as friends. I've got something for the two of us in four days." He handed me over a ticket - Bring me the Horizon VIP ticket. He knows they're my favourite band - alongside five seconds of summer, but that's only because Ashton and I were good friends for a while. "I know they're your favourites and when I saw that there was tickets on sale for there concert I had to buy some, and the reason they are VIP is that the bouncer watches my videos with his daughter and he said that he would upgrade them if I took a picture with his daughter at the concert, she's coming only briefly to say hello to me." I looked at him in absolute awe and pure happiness, I didn't know what to do, so I flung my arms around him and cried with happiness onto him.

"Thank you so much, Joe." He wrapped his arms around me tight, and for that moments the busy road around our car was invisible. 

"You know I was going to give you an engagement ring as a joke in the beginning." He laughed, making his chest vibrate. "I just want to spoil my favourite little girl."

"Dude. I'm not a child and I'm like two inches shorter than you." I giggled slightly.

"You're still smaller than me." He stuck his tongue out, tauntingly

"Shut up." I laughed, nuzzling my head into his chest more. 

"We should probably be heading back now. What do we do if Zoe asks what happens?" Joe puzzled himself.

"We tell her the truth, you confronted Jake, stood up for me, he got annoyed and we left." I stated. This is how the event played out in my head now, the 'thing' that happened was in the past. That's all that happened, I kept telling myself, over and over again, that is all that happened. 

"Okay." I could hear him choke back a sob and I'd never felt so guilty. It just wasn't the right time, it's for the best. But is it? YES IT IS MIND,  SHUT UP.  The car was silent from then until we got to Zoe's.

"Amber! Joe! What happened?" Zoe asked, looking concerned.

"Joe confronted Jake, stood up for me, he got annoyed and we left and -" I was about to tell her what actually happened when Joe cut me off.

"And we stopped at Burger King quickly on the way back, but the queue for the drive through was too long so we left and we're now going to order pizza, isn't that right Amber?" Joe asked, smiling.

"One hundred percent accurate." I laughed, surprisingly naturally despite the fact I definitely didn't feel natural.

"OOOH WHAT PIZZA PLACE ARE YOU ORDERING THE PIZZA FROM?" Zoe shouted, evidently excited.

"DOMINO'S." I shouted back, now excited by the idea of pizza too.

"Okay, make mine a cheese and tomato pizza with extra cheesy dough balls!" I smiled and wrote it down for her.

"Joe, what do you want?" 

"I'll have the same as Zoe." I wrote x2 next to Zoe's order. "And what shall you be having, m'dear?" He was able to act so normal.

"Extra cheesy cheese pizza with hot dog stuffed crust, wedges and cheesy dough balls." I laughed.

"Greedy much?" Joe replied looking down at me.

"I'm hungry, okay?" I laughed. I reached into my purse and handed him my share for it all. "This should cover my stuff." He handed it back to me.

"My treat." I was going to complain but then again, free food.

"Love you Joe!" I kissed his cheek.

"Love you too Amber." He giggled brining the phone up to his ear. I walked into the room where Zoe was sat. She had all her filming stuff out. 

"Amber! Want to be in a video with me?" She asked, smiling happily.

"Yes please." I replied, smiling too. This is going to be a long night.