What Happens Now?

Chapter 10 : The Ring

Evan POV

I stood by the side, watching my best friend fall in love, while the other reaches for her dreams. My feet were planted to the ground, as I see them take their own respective flights towards happiness.

Sure, it was an amazing and proud sight seeing them a step closer to their goals (though I'm not entirely sure if Sam's goal in life was falling in love, considering he has fallen in and out multiple times..). Somehow it got me wondering, what about me?

I paused for awhile and deeply pondered on that thought. What am I doing with my life? What do I do? Where do I go? What do I want? Who do I ask? What will I be? What about me?

All these questions kept running through my mind, haunting my every wake. It was pressuring me to grab life by the collar, and shake my destiny out from it with my own bare hands, asserting my own confidence into my own rightful placement in this world. But I couldn't gather enough courage in myself to do so. The person in me was too busy cowering in the shadows, tearing out his hair, wallowing in self pity and self-inflicted mental pain.

The only thing keeping me planted on this Earth, was this silver ring on my ringer.

I brushed a thumb across the smooth cold surface of the ring, feeling the engraving on the tips of my fingers. I twisted the ring, fiddling with it as I rocked it back and forth rhythmically. The cool exterior of the metal sent goosebumps across my skin, the fine hairs on my skin standing up peculiarly. I closed my eyes, immersing myself in the impending flashback.

----

[cue song : Animal by Javier Dunn]

"We are what we love, Evan. Keep that in mind, keep that in your heart," he said to me.

He looked down at my frail lanky figure, a solemn look on his face. Dark circles formed under his eyes, puffy and exhausted from the lack of sleep, and possibly the stream of silent tears from the day before. The day Mama was finally lowered down into the earth.

Her beautiful figure was doomed to decompose throughout the years in that rosewood stained maple casket of hers. I loathed the thought of her beauty tarnished by nature, but I had to accept the terrifying fact that I had lost my one and only Mama.

He gestured me to hold out my hand to him. He gently held my wrist, nudging my fingers to open up, exposing my bare palm to him. His rough skin was a different sensation against my skin, unlike my mother's hand, whose skin felt as smooth as the finest silk. Her fingers were long, slender, but her hands were strong. She could gracefully sculpt ceramic pottery, carve intricately detailed stone statues, or even expertly handling her paint brushes.

With his other hand, he enclosed it around my open palm, enveloping my hand with his warmth. I felt something cool and round pressing against my palm, a foreign feeling compared to his warm rough hands. I fidgeted under his hold, trying to open my palm to satisfy my curiosity, but dad held a firm yet gentle grip on me, silently shaking his head.

The grim and crestfallen look on his face tugged my heart. Tears started forming in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away before it would roll down his cheeks. A lump was forming in my throat, threatening to release an impending sob that I had been trying desperately to hold in. My vision started to blur with the tears flooding in my eyes.

A stray tear rolled down my cheek. He reached out and brushed it off with his thumb before it could fall on the ground. He gently cupped the side of my face, ushering me close, enveloping me in a warm comforting hug. I leaned into his hold, burying my face in his shirt as I finally let out the sob I had been holding in for the past few days.