Naruto: Lost In Kishimoto - Revenge [Book 2]

Chapter Thirty-Six: When You're Smiling

Sasuke POV

As each day seemed to pass I found myself constantly wondering what Beth would act like on that current day. It was as if there were two Beths consistently battling within her mind, materialising within Beth for an unpredictable amount of time. On one side there was the Beth who was trying so hard to be the woman I fell in love with, the sarcastic, strong, beautiful woman that drew me in with every waking breath. But in confliction with that Beth was someone I no longer recognised. A fire that slowly consumed everything that the old Beth was, every structure that she had tried to rebuild, consumed by flames gradually burning everything to the ground. And no matter how hard I wished for the rain to come, it refused, with a dry heat nurturing the flames to finish their destruction.

I had, for the most part, moved into Beths apartment. The idea that our relationship had any sense of normality was greatly appreciated by Beth, you could see it on her face whenever I came home to her sketching on the balcony. She had been sketching constantly lately, a hobby which allowed me to gain whatever slight insight I could into how she was feeling. When she was generally feeling calm she tended to sketch things that were peaceful, such as the Yamanaka flower shop. The day she drew that she came home with a smile on her face, commenting on how Ino's mother had been less than impressed as Beth stood within her shop for what would have been five or six hours, and yet hadn't purchased anything.

On her bad days she tended to have subjects which were more abstract. At one point she had drawn a pair of hands wrapped around a person's throat. The detail within the sketch was stunning and yet terrifying. 

I sat across the room from her, looking at the development of her current sketch. Her hands moved with a ferocity that suggested she was having one of her worse days. Her eyes were wide and focused, unmoving from her sketchpad. She had been doing well for the last three days, smiling at moments, engaging with the people around her, eating properly and attempting to go to asleep instead of just stating "I can't do that".

"Beth?" I called, standing up from the chair I had been sitting on for an hour at the most. The outline structure of her sketch had begun to really come together, the subject still a mystery.

"Hmmm?" Her response was rather uninterested, her focus still directed to the pencil in her right hand. Walking over to her I reach around her and pulled the pencil from her grasp encouraging a response of annoyance.  "Sasuke, what is it?"

"What are you drawing?" I asked with a calm tone.

"I'm not drawing anything now. You have my pencil." I sighed and looked away for a second gathering my thoughts before continuing.

"Okay Miss Literal. What were you drawing before I so rudely approached you and stole your pencil?" Beths face scrunched up into a look of further irritation before relaxing for a few moment to respond.

"You and Me." As soon as she had said the words I was taken aback. The outline looked to be a pair of hands sliding down something.

"What do you mean?" She sighed, reaching out for the return of her pencil. Placing the pencil back in her hand she gestured for me to come closer to the artwork in progress. Peering in Beth started to point with the sharpened point of the graphite pencil to certain outlined parts.

"These are you hands." She said pointing to the two masculine looking hands in the picture. "And this is me." She continued, pointing at the object which my hands looked to be caressing.

"Not that I'm judging your drawing before its finished but, how is that you?" With that she let out a small laugh. And with that simple sound I realised that I had been wrong. She was fine. She was fine.

"I'll show you." Placing her sketchbook and pencil aside she stood up and moved in front of me. Lifting her shirt up over her head she threw the cotton clothing aside and reached out for my hands. Moving them to her lower abdomen her placed them on her hips and began sliding them very slowly up to her torso.

My hands gently felt over the small scars that decorated her otherwise smooth skin until they rested just under her ribs. My eyes stayed on hers the entire time, watching her gaze move with my hands.

"See?" She whispered, dropping her hands to her sides. My heart began pounding at an increased rate, before I pulled my hands away and stood up, making my way over to her shirt before picking it up and giving it back to her. "What's wrong?" She asked taking the shirt from me.

"The Kazekage is in town." At the mere mention of the word Kazekage, Beth stiffened, her small frame like steel. "You need to speak to him. You need to speak with all of them."

"Why is he in town?" She asked, ignoring the second half of my statement.

"Conference. Originally the five Kage were going to gather in the Land of the Samurai, but change of plans. They agreed that you shouldn't travel yet and so they decided to gather in Konoha."

"How did I not know about this? I'm guessing they want me to speak or they wouldn't have worried about my ability to travel." Her voice suddenly had a notion of desperation within it, mirrored by the expression on her face.

"Kakashi sensei said he would come and explain everything to you. The actual council meeting isn't until next week. Gaara came early to see you, guess Temari got sick of reporting every two weeks on your condition." Beth turned away momentarily, staring out of the balcony window before turning back and gazing at me.

"I can't speak with them, Sasuke." She stated eventually. For the first two months after Beths return to Konoha every time the words Gaara, Kazekage, or Tayuya, were spoken, an incandescent expression of rage would be her reaction. As her condition had improved that rage had suddenly changed to fear, fear at what to say when confronted by her former allies, and fear as to whether they would forgive her for her actions, or rather... her reactions.

"Beth, you can't hide forever."

At that moment Beth moved over to the balcony door and stared out at the village landscape, taking in every intricate detail, the rooves of townhouses and apartment buildings, the swaying trees flowing in the wind, everything that her eyes could gaze upon.

"You know I don't speak about my family." As the phrase escaped her lips my interest was piqued. It was true, she never spoke of her family except to make generic rather irrelevant comments that never gave much information on what her family life was like. "But I remember, this song that my mother used to play on a record player when I was a little girl. This beautiful jazz song by a woman named Billie Holiday." Beth closed her eyes, and began gently swaying her head from left to right, as if playing the song inside her head. "When you're smilin', when you're smilin', the whole world smiles with you. When you're laughing, when you're laughing, the sun comes shinin' through. But when you're cryin', you bring on the rain. So stop your cryin', be happy again. Keep on smilin', 'cause when you're smilin', the whole world smiles with you." After Beth had finished singing the lyrics I watched as tears began to slide down her face.

Wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt, she turned to me and smiled. "She used to play that whenever my father was in one of his moods. Which was... frequently. She was always so busy so whenever she was home they'd fight. She'd go into her study and put that song on. I used to think it was so she could sit there and forget about everything but... now I know... it was because she was trying to be strong, because she was falling apart." She paused for a moment before forcing a laugh. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I thought of that just then. Forgive me." With that I walked over to her and gently enclosed my arms around her, holding her close.

"Then be strong." I whispered, tipping her chin up to me and placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Do I have a choice?" She whispered back.

"Always." 

"Then let's go."