A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Kenny Craig - Art Class

INT. ART CLASSROOM – DAY

In a smart and grand art classroom, at the far end stands a man all covered up in watches. At the other end, all the students are painting him.

NARRATOR (V/O):

Stage hypnotist Kenny Craig is taking an art class. I love art apart from the fact that you can still get an attack from it.

Kenny Craig is painting but doesn't look too happy. He has only drawn a man with nothing on at all, except watch faces. Nothing like the model at all! One student (played by David Williams) gets up and pops out of the room. Kenny has watched him and he goes to his painting. He sees that it's very good and exactly like the model.

LATER...

Kenny puts the best picture on his stand. The old female teacher comes by.

TEACHER:

Is that yours, Mr. Craig?

KENNY:

Yes. Magnificent, isn't it?

TEACHER:

I think it's George's painting and you stole it from him.

Kenny gets up.

KENNY:

Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes. The eyes. The eyes. Not around the eyes. Don't look around the eyes. Look into my eyes. (He snaps his fingers). You're under. I painted this masterpiece. I will win the prizes. George painted that crap painting. 3, 2, 1... (He snaps he fingers again). You're back in the room.

TEACHER:

Wow! That's very good. You're close to winning.

The student comes back and walks to them.

STUDENT:

Excuse me. Have you seen my painting? I can't... (He finds his). Hey, that's mine. What's it doing here?

Kenny gets up, clicks the teacher in the eyes and moves to the Student.

KENNY:

Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes. The eyes. The eyes. Not around the eyes. Don't look around the eyes. Look into my eyes. (He snaps his fingers). You're under. This is my painting. I painted this. Yours is in your area. 3, 2, 1... (He snaps he fingers again). You're back in the room.

STUDENT:

Oh, I see my painting. It's at my seat.

He walks on. The judges (played by Paul Putner and Steve Furst) arrive. They judge and inspect everyone's paintings. They come over to Kenny Craig's seat and look at the painting. CU on Kenny.

JUDGE #1 (OOV):

We have a winner.

Everyone claps. Kenny smiles and reaches for the 1st prize moment. PAUSE. Kenny looks around and is shocked to see that the student has got the prize for his painting.

KENNY:

Hey! Look into my eyes, everyone!

They do look at him in sunglasses! Even the model has put watches over his eyes. The teacher, in sunglasses as well, comes to him.

TEACHER:

You didn't think you could get away with that, could you?

Kenny doesn't know what to say or do.