A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Sebastian and PM - Aide Trouble

EXT. 10 DOWNING STREET - DAY

The policeman stands at the door.

NARRATOR (V/O):

This is 10 Downing Street, where the Prime Minister lives. I live on the opposite street, 10 Upping Street.

Then a sexy gorgeous tanned woman in a green dress walks past. The Policeman sees her and tried to run after her, but he struggles to go after her and decides to remain at the door.

INT. PRIME MINISTER'S OFFICE - DAY

The Prime Minister is speaking to the Chancellor. Sebastian stands by.

PRIME MINISTER:

Thank you for taking care of my duties while I'm on holiday, Robert. I really need this.

CHANCELLOR:

Hey, no problem. Maybe it'll do the country good too with you out of it.

SEBASTIAN:

WHAT?

PRIME MINISTER:

Sebastian, please!

SEBASTIAN:

Are you sure you can trust this man? He's losing his brain as much as his hair!

PRIME MINISTER:

I'm sure he'll do fine.

CHANCELLOR:

Sebastian, either you work for me or you can have a leave of absent until the "proper prime minister" gets back.

SEBASTIAN:

My life ain't going to revolve around your fat Scottish arse!

CHANCELLOR:

Very well, you will not return until the Prime Minister returns.

SEBASTIAN:

Whatever!

PRIME MINISTER:

Sebastian, would you like show the Acting Prime Minister out now?

Sebastian heads to the door and opens it. As the chancellor heads out, Sebastian kicks him in the bottom before closing the door.

PRIME MINISTER:

Sebastian, you don't have to defend me all the time. I'm quite capable of taking criticism.

SEBASTIAN:

Oh, you're worth it.

PRIME MINISTER:

I don't know what to say.

SEBASTIAN:

Well, this is a movie I'd like you to come and see with me.

PRIME MINISTER:

What's it called?

SEBASTIAN:

Jamie Blondie. A sort of James Bond, but very gay.

PRIME MINISTER:

Well, I promised my wife I'd take her to the latest romantic comedy film, Business Wives.

Sebastian looks disappointed.

PRIME MINISTER (CONT'D):

Are you all right, Sebastian?

SEBASTIAN:

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just sorry to report that your wife has been having an... affair with her aide.

PRIME MINISTER:

(In a Sebastian style) WHAT?

INT. PRIME MINISTER'S BEDROOM - DAY

The Prime Minister and Sebastian burst into his bedroom. They find Sarah packing her suitcase and her aide near her.

SARAH:

Darling, what's going on?

PRIME MINISTER:

(Very angry) You know damn well what. What you and your aide have been doing!

SARAH:

What has Jenny and I done?

SEBASTIAN:

You two have had an affair!

JENNY:

What? That's ridiculous! It must be the time that she was also mugged and I swooped in and I saved her and I was only comforting her.

PRIME MINISTER:

All right, I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I just wanted to be sure. (Turns to Sebastian). I want a word with you, Sebastian!

He storms out and an ashamed Sebastian follows. Sarah and Jenny sigh.

SARAH:

That was way too close, Jenny. You did very well.

JENNY:

Oh, well, you're worth it, love.

Then Sarah and Jenny kiss each other. Then they carry on packing Sarah's suitcase.