Intertwined Hearts

The Aftermath

    So I moved on, we all went back home to my dogs, and we all went back to normal home life. I acted as if nothing had happened; like nothing had been too hectic for me to handle. Steven and I went out after practice a lot, and we were hanging on the edge, about to say goodbye to 1988. His new wife had been about three months pregnant with their first baby. Steven somehow seemed to be hanging in there, he was just about a year into his new marriage after his divorce--things got better for him.
    As for me, I wasn't sure if I was calling quits or taking a break. I was nothing but confused. Steven worried for me a lot; he was afraid I was going to do something regretful if he didn't check on me. Not to mention that we see each other everyday. Whatever I was trying to do, whatever point I was trying to make by leaving Slash, only made me worse than before.
     I was starting to get physically sick, and I was always complaining about something. Which isn't really me, so it was concerning. As cliche as it sounds, nothing really made me happy. Everyone assumed I was depressed, and needed help. So I went to a therapist to see what was really going on. Seemed like I was fine, that I was just very lost in what I am. This decision was only covering a band-aid on a open wound; it seems like it will be okay, but only temporarily. It was obvious that I couldn't stop thinking about how much I loved spending time with him, and yet how much pain I had while on that tour. I hated myself so much, for the mistakes that I made.
It's funny how being there made me weak, but not being there made me ever weaker, and there's a part of me that still belongs to him, because I'm sure that our hearts are intertwined.