Dream of Me

November 14

This was new. More than just new, it was something like I had never seen before. The monotony of repetitive days, schedules to follow, overwhelming stress and borderline insanity felt like a memory, even a fable of a world that possibly existed millenniums ago but no longer had any relevance. Here, there was peace. Pastel colours, pink, soothing air—if it was air, I couldn't tell. Whatever it was, I was breathing it in, and it felt like tranquility. I couldn't see what I was standing on, or at least I didn't care. In front of me was a vortex of sorts; the landscape was an abstract conglomeration of soothing colour, like a galaxy but my own personal one. I felt timeless, weightless, void of all cares and concerns from the outside world. Every other world, truthfully. Here, I felt no need to find answers; no need to search for truth. It simply was. Everything made sense here, and I sunk into the serenity of a world annulled of pain.

For a second, or even a minute, if not an hour, I thought perhaps that I was in heaven. Perhaps I had died and this was my final resting ground. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or if this was a new reality and I couldn't find a heartbeat. The landscape around me was infinite, yet concrete. It was melting, but solid. I'm not making sense. To describe it in a more descriptive way, I'll compare it to Big Hero 6. I loved that movie. I watched it 6 times. Yes, I'm an adult. The surroundings of this new world was like the portal that they entered to save that guy's daughter. It was like one of those photographs you see from NASA, of high-definition space, galaxy, stars. I still can't describe it like I saw it. You'll just have to use your imagination. The point is, it was different. From anything I had ever seen before and probably anything I will ever see again.

For hours, maybe, I stood in the warmth of the still atmosphere, inhaling and exhaling, my mind empty of all thought and function. This was the closest place to what I imagined heaven to be. I had dreamed of what heaven would be like as soon as my mother passed away, and then my grandma, and then my other grandma. It seemed that death came in multiplicities in our family. I wanted to know what would happen to them afterwards—where they went when everything was done. I never imagined heaven to be hues of pink and purple and deep, endless navy, but then again I had never really imagined the colours specifically. As I began to walk, I don't know how long it took to finally move around, I noticed that the ground was, in fact, present, but it was very dark as if to eliminate all attention that it could possibly acquire. I could feel a crunch as I walked, but it was soundless. Colours—oh, okay, think of this: Pocahontas' colours of the wind and Avatar's biosphere—seemed to float around me in chalky, neutral tubes of life. I extended my hand—pink and purple worms of hues interwove themselves between my fingers, slowly creeping up my forearm. It wasn't strange, though. It felt normal. I felt my eyes filled with irregular amounts of light despite the darkness of the background hiding in the midst this new world.

I turned a corner. Oh, I didn't mention that there was a landscape here, a dark one, but still present and dispersed with foliage and tall, thin trees. As a turned a corner, there was a clearing, if you can call it that, with what appeared to be a lake of light, though it wasn't just light, it was swirling with colour, but it was bright. The strange, almost eerie trees created a shelter round the pool, outstretching their dark lit fingers into the sky in tight, geometric patterns. Sitting beside the pool was a figure that stood out from this world like a deciduous sapling in the middle of a coniferous forest, much like myself, I later realized. I paused, of course, because a being from the "real world" all of a sudden showing up in this haven caused quite a shock. I assumed now, more than ever, that this must be a dream. Perhaps the drama was beginning to unfold with the discovery of this person. As I walked closer, cautiously, I saw that it was indeed a person. In the back of my mind, I felt that I should approach with reservation, prepare myself for the worst, but in this place I knew that was not necessary. This was peace; this was bliss.