It's just my journal.

Wolf in sheep's clothing

-hey, uh, this is just me blowing off some steam about my first ex...so, um, I guess you could keep reading if you wanted to....uh, I'm just going to talk as if I'm talking to him...so....yeah.-
-Also, the picture above is stuff this person said to me, and that wasn't even the worst part of it.-

Hey there, it's been a few months. You look like you're doing well, that's good. I see you've moved on to your next victim.   I feel bad for her, she's already been lured in....she can't escape you now. Maybe she'll break the chain, the one wrapped around her neck that you tug on slowly, draining her of life, of freedom. Until she's lifeless, and you eat her right up. There was no escape to be found for the girls before me. You drained them. You drained me.
I don't think you get it. I'm not complaining about how you broke up with me. I actually broke up with you, I left you. That makes you mad, right? You're mad because I wasn't allowed to leave you, but I did. I left you for him. That's what you think, correct? That it's all my fault, that I 'deserved' the way you treated me.
Well you're fucking wrong. I am not a slut, nor am I 'self- centered bitch with no heart.' I am not a bully. I am not a whore. Call me whatever the fuck you want! You just need to know that I am nothing of the sort. I am everything you want to be. I was what you thought you wanted. You said you loved me, and you knew that I was naive enough to fall for it. You knew how I felt about you. How much I loved you, and you used me.
I cried for you, I told people off, I stood up for you, I DID EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING WANTED AND IT WAS STILL NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!!! You were always the victim. I thought I was doing something wrong, and I was terrified that I was going to make you mad, or that I was going to mess up in some way because I didn't want you to leave me. I wanted you to love me. I wanted to help you, I was at your beck and call.
Let's not forget that scary moment. The day I tried to retaliate, where I said that what you were doing wasn't right. Then you said that you were going to commit suicide and that you knew no one cared and the I was a lying bitch. To everyone. I cried for you. I wept until you told me that you were stupid for saying that, and I believed you. I forgave you, but don't ever think that I'll forget that.
A month later, and I suddenly had a 'rival,' she was a nice girl, and was very pretty. You wanted us to fight over you, but I honestly didn't mind her talking to you, acting all lovey-Dovey with you. As long as you were happy. I figured you wouldn't mind my absence, and I took my chance of freeing myself from your grip. I cut myself off, convincing myself that this was for you. That I was making you miserable.
I went for about four months without talking to you, and I'd never felt so happy in the two years I'd known you. I'd already introduced you to my best friend, and they knew what was going on. I'd fallen in love with a boy named Gavin, and he and I were having a conversation on Twitter earlier that day. I guess you saw, because you flipped out.
You started crying and telling me that I was 'just like the rest.' At first, I acted coldly towards you, trying to make it seem as if every word and every name that flew out of your mouth wasn't affecting me. You called me every cuss you could think of. You body-shamed me. You did whatever the hell you could to get under my skin and it worked. Eventually, I started bawling, because you were my first love, the person I had trusted. How could I not let that under my skin. Your friend was attacking me, too. I told you that I really was horrible person, that I shouldn't have ignored you, and I convinced myself that you were right. I was stupid. I was wrong.
Soon enough, you were trying to get me back, but I was already taken, by the boy who treated me with kindness and respect, Gavin. You were so mad that you dropped contact with me. I didn't mind, as that was what I was hoping for.
Sadly, your friend didn't stand for it. He messaged me on Twitter, calling me a bully, bitch, slut, etc; And what could I do about it? Practically nothing, blocking would get me nowhere, because he'd throw a fit and send you. I was terrified of you.
After that, things went silent for about three days. There you were again, begging to speak to me, and I let you. You 'forgave' me, and I forgave you, and we went on with our little lives, having conversations here and there. Then, you started going back to your old ways, so I dropped all contact with you. We were over a long time ago, but couldn't accept it. You attacked me, and I found out soon afterwards you'd done this with many girls. We haven't spoken since. I guess you're a wolf in sheep's clothing.
To: The boy who's name is E.J.
From: Your beloved Helesi.