Disorientation

Chapter TwentyEight

Erica

The sky was darkening despite the early autumn season and leaves littered the streets. I stepped off the bus and entered St. Thomas' hospital. After asking for Ryan King's ward, I was directed to the third floor in the left wing. As expected, he was in his own secluded room, with the lights dimmed low and a machines humming quietly in the background.

Thankfully he had no visitors. This was going to be a lot easier.

I approached the bed; the closer I got the wider my eyes became. When Shankz said that he was left in a critical condition, I never imagined it would be this bad. There were wires everywhere, connecting from his nostrils to one machine and a needle jabbed in various places of his body connected to one drip. The wires weren't what horrified me, though. It was the patches of torn skin and blotchy sores over his face and body. His chest was bandaged and his nose appeared broken.

My brows furrowed. What did Ryan go through? Was this because of Grey Eyes or Kyle? How did all three of them get injured? I wish I were there to see the altercation between them, because this didn't make any sense.

I spotted a nearby chair and sat down, analysing his worn-out body as he breathed ragged breaths. The machines whirred quietly, reminding me that he was probably struggling to breathe normally.

"I wasn't going to see you," I said quietly. "After what you put everyone through that day, I never wanted to see your face again."

His eyelids fluttered, but he made no response. I wasn't even sure if he was asleep—or even conscious—but I wanted to get this off my chest.

"As much as I hate you, Ryan, I can understand why you behaved that way. You thought I was unfaithful to you." I smiled at the irony. "Even though I remember now, I had cheated on Brandon with you. You just didn't like the fact that I was back with him, right?"

Silence. Ragged breathing. Machines pumping. He was definitely sleeping.

"But what I didn't understand was why you still tried with me. You knew I was a waste of time and I supposedly 'snaked' you to be with Brandon, so why would you even want me after everything I've done to you?"

His breathing slowed and he looked more peaceful.

"Was you that attached? Did we have some kind of unfinished business? Did I lead you on too much?" I sighed. "If that's the case, I was horrible to do that to you, so I'm sorry." I glared down at him. "But that's the only apology you'll ever get from me. What you've done is unforgiveable."

The beeping of the machines became more distant; the room seemed to get quieter somehow.

"I tried explaining before that I have amnesia, but you didn't want to hear it. I was hoping maybe you'd listen to me and have a change of heart. I wanted to explain everything to you so you wouldn't make any stupid mistakes. I don't even know you, but I was still trying to protect you, because I knew that eventually Brandon would come and attack you."

I thought of that whole situation outside the club: how furious Brandon looked, how conniving Ryan was being, taunting him and being aggressive with me. Considering they were cousins, Ryan must know how violent Brandon could be, but the fact that he still went along with his sick plan meant he must have had a death wish. Sometimes I still hear Armani's screams from when she saw Kyle lying on the ground in a pool of blood. It terrified me, and made me feel incredibly guilty that I was the cause of it.

That all had to go down on my birthday as well.

"We all make mistakes," I muttered. "I've made plenty, so now I'm trying to make amends. I have a whole list of people I need to apologise to, you just happen to be the first." I felt a sudden pulse in my skull and my vision blurred for a second. No...this couldn't be happening again. I didn't want the old Erica to return, not now of all times. I held my forehead and could almost hear quiet orders in my brain.