Journals

Journal 13: 4-5-2016

So, obviously it's been a long time since I last wrote.

I've been an emotional mess XD to say the least

I'm not sure who to talk about my mental state with, or even if there's anything wrong with my mental state.

I'm probably just really paranoid, but something has to be up with me.

For some reason, the boyfriend has been being super nice to me these past few weeks & I'm not sure why because I'm really irrational & annoying.

My ex likes to talk to me everyday, too, which I find really uncomfortable because I don't want him. He claims he misses me. I was his first girlfriend, his first kiss, etc.

I think he needs to move on, but I'm not gonna tell him that. I don't want him waiting for me to be free. That also makes me uncomfortable.

He bought me candy the other day & gave it to me during school yesterday. He offered, I didn't ask & the boyfriend was really upset with him, which I understand. I would be really mad, too, if my girlfriend's ex decided, out of the blue to buy her candy & give it to her as a thoughtful gesture. I would probably be more upset than he seemed.

He said something funny, though: "Hey, that's my job."

Of course, I laughed because it was cute & showed he cared, but what I don't understand is, why is this happening?

I guess life decided to throw me a curveball & say, "Here, try to catch this one!"

Sometimes I ramble when I'm at a loss for words.

Anyway, bye

~maddi:*