Historical and Non-Historical Rants

The Most Most MOST Depressing Piece of Art EVER

So I was at this museum.

And I was in the art gallery, just strolling around.

Then I came across this tapestry.

It was titled "The Death of Joan of Arc".

And I was like:

"JHDHFKAHFIEHURIAFEWNFIAJEWNFIAWEJFIWEFNAWSAFHKSADNOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now let's all mourn for the death of the world's best historical figure, Joan of Arc.

First, I need to be clear about one thing:

I do not favor France over England it's just that Joan of Arc was SO AWESOME I mean she led a war with no military training whatsoever and won it HOW COOL IS THAT and I'm still mourning over her death like 500 or so years after she died since I'm so obsessed with Joan of Arc she's the best ever and I'm so sad she died I mean she had a good cause no she was not a witch she was very devout thank you very much you did not have to burn her at the stake Britain she was sainted for heaven's sake SAINTED I SAY but oh well that was long after her death BUT STILL she's so great she was protecting a nine year old king that's honorable and DID I MENTION SHE HAD NO MILITARY TRAINING but oh well I guess she was against the forces of a 9 month old yes you read that right 9 MONTH OLD but his advisor was doing all the work for him so England was technically better off and how could anyone make a tapestry on her death that's just really sad I literally wanted to cry when I saw it *wails* AAAAAAAAHH my English teacher is going to kill me now since I have no idea how many comma splices were up there.

Okay. Now that I've got everything down, let's transfer that into proper grammar.

I do not favor France over England, it's just that Joan of Arc was so awesome! I mean, she led a war with no military training whatsoever and won it! How cool is that? I'm still mourning over her death 500 or so years after she died since I'm obsessed with Joan of Arc. She was the best ever. I'm so sad she died. I mean, she had a good cause! No, she was not a witch, she was very devout, thank you very much. You did not have to burn her at the stake, Britain! She was sainted for heaven's sake! But oh well, that was long after her death, but she's still so great! She was protecting a nine year old king! That's honorable, and did I mention she had no military training? But oh well, I guess she was against the forces of a 9 month old. Yes, you read that right, a 9 month old. But, his advisor was doing all the work for him so England was technically better off. How could anyone make a tapestry on her death? That's just really sad! I literally wanted to cry when I saw it. Now, my English teacher is going to spare my life since I have no idea how words can describe how great this grammar is.

NO! That sounds way too calm! Stick with the first one. I DON'T CARE IT ISN'T PROPER GRAMMAR!

Thank you for enduring my craziness.

Sincerely,

I'm-still-trying-to-figure-out-what-to-call-myself-in-this-book.