Historical and Non-Historical Rants

Things I LITERALLY CANNOT CONTROL IN MY LIFE!!!

I'm a relatively disciplined person.

I'm always ready to work. I work so much my parents have to tell me to STOP WORKING and go to sleep.

In fact, I physically don't feel good when I don't work. It's not even the guilt or feeling lazy, MY BACK GETS STIFF!!!

I organize clubs and committees and things like that by myself, without anyone pressuring me and I get it done quickly.

I DON'T procrastinate.

However, here are some situations I have zero self control over.

1. Yogurtland

I go to Yogurtland and I get a relatively small amount of froyo. I go to the toppings. Hmm...strawberry and mango boba, I'll get some of that, I also want some mochi...

I stick to the lighter stuff, and when I see the heavier stuff, I don't take much.

And then my eyes land on the sinful topping.

GUMMY BEARS.

They are literally the heaviest toppings in Yogurtland, and I know I will regret it later after I look at my wallet, but I just can't NOT have gummy bears in my froyo.

I just CAN'T. 

2. Managing stuff

I really like to lead stuff and run different groups. For example, I'm currently running a debate club in my school with my good friend Alanna, and though I know we are supposed to have an equal share of work, I WORK MY BUTT OFF BECAUSE I LEGIT CAN'T STOP. And now that debate club is approximately two months old and there's like no more work, I'm trying to start a history bowl team and be a stage manager in a drama class and thinking about joining future problem solving next year AND thinking of running for co-president of student council next year. AND not to mention I've directed most of the movie projects I have been in.

I'm just a leader kind of person, ya know?

I don't like to do it for the power I have over people, I like to do it since it's FUN. I love scheduling, spamming people with emails, sending out a bunch of emails, and using those responses to make something happen. It's so rewarding, and it's super fun solving a bunch of technical problems about the organization of the thing.

And when I see an opportunity to do this sort of work, I jump on it.

I'm sorry. I have no self control over these sorts of tasks.

3. Crushes

It's weird, since the only reasons my crushes on people dissipate are:

a) I realize I actually DON'T have a crush on them, I just want to have them as a good friend

or

b) I develop a crush on someone else.

Result: I CONSTANTLY have a crush on someone. 

I'm sorry! I can't control my brain! I try EVERYTHING to get rid of it but it just doesn't effing happen!

And it really doesn't help that I have never gotten a real crush that wasn't serious.

Trust me. I don't even know what an "eh, he's kinda cute" crush feels like.

#foreverheartbroken

4. Getting in huge arguments

I'm a debater.

I like to argue.

I like to talk about what I believe in.

However, one of my main debate tactics sometimes is to scare my opponents a little, so it pushes their performance down and it raises my performance up because I am the most compelling (and intimidating) in debate when I'm angry. 

That sometimes results in me getting into a bunch of arguments with people.

And so...that ends up with me making a bunch of sarcastic and sassy remarks.

And the arguing goes on.

5. Preaching about my favorites

In case you don't know me, what I mean by "favorites" here is Joan of Arc, Unicorns, and Snoopy.

And pretty much, if you're a really close friend of mine, you've been convinced to like at least two of these things a lot.

Yeah.

That's what I mean. 

Lol. 

And last but definitely not the least...

6. Doing dumb stuff around people I am trying to impress

Whether it is for applying for a school, a part time JOB, someone to help me get *insert club I am starting* approved, someone I need help from, someone I want to be friends with or my crush, I do dumb stuff.

If you read some of my books or at least my bio, you will know that I'm a Chinese American. Despite having lived in China for 12 years, my English is WAY better than my Chinese. But I can speak both fluently and without an obvious accent.

And it just so happens that whenever the subject person is American/ Australian/ English/ Canadian/ Insert person who I'm supposed to speak English to, somehow my Mandarin skills overpower my English skills and I forget what grammar is. 

Some things I say in these instances:

"really not good." *facepalm* this always comes up idk why.

"I don't know. I don't know how to say." *slams face against wall*

Or I sometimes say something in Mandarin and they look at me like this:  °_O#

Ok. Now I can't even recall all the dumb stuff I say!

And when the person is Chinese, somehow my Mandarin skills go back to first grade level and I end up stuttering every four characters and forget basic phrases.

This is bad enough, but ohhh, I'm a pretty clumsy person, but when that happens, it seems like I trip on everything in my path.

Stairs?

Yep.

Rocks?

Yep.

Window blinders?

Yep.

Which brings me to a true story: in my beginning of the year school tour, I managed to trip on the thing that lowers window blinders and I legit almost BROKE them.

Ya see what I mean?

I hope you liked this chapter on THINGS I LITERALLY CANNOT CONTROL IN MY LIFE!!!

Please vote if you can relate, comment about what you can't control, and share if you thought it was funny.

Yeah. Hope you liked it, and see you next time. 

Eugeniax