Love Isn't Always Fair

Chapter 1

Aloha! This is the first chapter for my story "Love Isn't Always Fair." It's kinda boring, but TRUST ME, it gets SO much better. Enjoy!

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“M-mommy? Where's daddy?” I asked, looking around the familiar room.

“Daddy's not coming around anymore, honey.” said my mother, tears streaming down her face.

“Well... Why?” I asked her.

“Reasons, honey. Reasons. Now go to your room. Get some sleep. O-okay, honey?” she asked me. I quietly slipped into my room, wonder what was even going on. After some time, I slowly drifted to sleep.

~

I was awoken by sirens. Lots of them, coming from everywhere. I ran my little feet to my bedroom window and pulled up my shades. Police cars, ambulances, even a fire truck or two surrounded my house. I stared in awe at the bright, colorful light.

“I found her room!” I heard a man yell, when all of a sudden, my door busted open, and two very strong men grabbed me.

“Hey! Stop that! Let me go! Mom! Mommy!” I started yelling. The men ran past the living room, and I saw her, my own mother, laying on the floor, shotgun in hand. There was a pool of blood around her head.

“No! Mom!” I yelled some more. “Help her! HELP HER!!!” I started crying. Tears poured down my face, and after a few minutes of struggling some more, I stopped. I gave up. I accepted it. My very own mother that I loved was dead. Dead. Never coming back. No one to read me stories at night, no one to make me my favorite breakfast when I woke up, no one to comfort me when I thought there was a monster in my closet. Gone. Nothing. No more. Dead.

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It was October 29th, 2011. Exactly 12 years since it happened. At this point, it didn't phase me. In fact, it helped me. It makes me feel like it's a part of who I am. My mother killed herself because my dad divorced her. And I was only 5 years old. But then again, nothing really phases me anymore. I'm.. Numb. I don't really have any feelings. I guess that's because of the pills I'm taking. I've contemplated not taking them, but who knows what would happen if I stopped taking them. Oh well. Life goes on, and I take pills.

I am now 17 years old, living with my foster parents in Minnesota, and going to Brooklyn Park High School. Everyday at school was like nothing. I didn't feel anything. I was a good student with good grades and no friends. A “nerd,” maybe? But I don't really care what people at my school classify me as, I have no feelings. I don't even think people notice me. I never smile. I wonder what my “parents” think about me. I never call them mom or dad, no, never. I call them Kathlyn and Rory. They still call me their daughter, though. I will never think of them as parents. I'll think of them as guardians. If anyone ever asks me about my parents, I tell them I don't have any. Then I explain my foster parents. My real parents always come first. In my mind and my heart.

~

I woke up smelling pancakes, syrup, and fresh coffee. I trotted downstairs to find Kathlyn making breakfast for me and my 12 year old foster sister, Savannah.

“Well good morning, Marrisa. How are you?” Kathlyn asked me.

“Good, good. Thank you.” I replied. I opened the cabinet and grabbed my pill bottle and a glass. I filled it with orange juice and swallowed down my pills for the day. I ate breakfast quietly, then went upstairs to get ready.

By this time, the pills have already kicked in, so I didn't spend a lot of time getting ready. I put on a black v-neck, a pair of blue jeans, pulled my black hair up into a tight bun and put a little mascara on. I grabbed my bag, got in the car with Savannah, and we were on our way to school. I didn't turn the radio on. I didn't care. We pulled up to the middle school and told Savannah to have a good day. She nodded and thanked me. When I got to school, everything was normal. The day went on with nothing special happening. It actually was quite boring.

I got home, went up stairs, and did my homework. I ate dinner, took a shower, and went to bed. It was the usual. It's what I do everyday. The same routine. Over, and over, and over. Before bed, I though about my choices. I could continue taking the pills, and go on with my life being the same usual boring-ness. Or, I could not take the pills for a day, and see what could happen.

I went to bed with a smile, knowing my plan for the next day.

I woke up, started walking downstairs to the kitchen, when I remembered that I wasn't going to take my pills today. I had to keep reminding myself. I acted as normally as I could around my family, and soon it was time to get ready for school. Now, this time, I noticed that I was really pointing out my facial flaws. I noticed I have a beauty mark under my eye. And I have a couple freckles on my nose. I opened my makeup case that Kathlyn and Rory bought me for my 17th birthday, and noticed I didn't use anything but the mascara. I lightly brushed dark blue eyeshadow over both of my eyes, lined my bottom eyelid with black eyeliner, and brushed my top eyelid with black liquid eyeliner. I used the familiar mascara, and brushed my cheeks with a little bit of blush. I even smiled. I liked how I looked.

I looked through the drawers of clothes that I decided I would never wear. Most of them were hand-me-downs from their previous daughter, Layla, who now lives in Italy with her husband. I took out a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, purple tights, and a loose, black off-the-shoulder shirt. I found a matching heart necklace and bracelet set. I put that on, too. I then put on a pair of black converse. I ran a flat iron through my hair, and I was set.

I got into my car with Savannah again, and she did a double take at me.

“Whoa, you look really pretty, Marissa!” she exclaimed. I had never been told I looked pretty before.

“Thanks, Savannah.” I said with a smile. I decided to turn the radio on today. It was on the alternative station, so I just kept it there.

“You just heard 'Pumped Up Kicks' by Foster the People! Now this is 'Sing' by My Chemical Romance.” the radio man said. The song was playing, and it was really good! Why hadn't I listened to the radio before? I dropped Savannah off at school and continued my way to mine. Another song that they played that appealed to me was “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” by Panic! At the Disco. What a weird name for a band.

I arrived at my school, and got out of my car. And I noticed... That was everyone was staring at me! And whispering! What were they saying about me? I shrugged it off and went into the school, like usual. I walked into my homeroom. I never noticed anyone in my class before. I saw three kids sitting and talking, and they looked nice to me. I walked up to them and asked if I could sit by them. They said sure.

“Uh, hi. I'm Marissa.” I introduced myself.

“You're new here, right?” a girl with pink and blue hair asked me.

“No?” I replied. They all looked at each other. “Well, I was never really a social person, so I guess you could say I'm new here.” They nodded.

“Well, I'm Jemma. Nice to meet you, Marissa.” pink and blue hair said to me.

“Tess.” A girl with black girl hair said.

“I'm Gabe.” A boy said.

“Well hi everyone!” I said and smiled. I had a feeling these people were going to be good friends with me.