Because I've Lost Everything

Chapter Ten

Caleb Grimm

"I know this is hard for you," Xaphan said quietly.

"No shït, Sherlock." I grunted, tipping my head back to drain the last several drops of my scotch. "You should've been a detective. You know, since you're so intuitive," I said harshly.

"All I'm saying is that what you're doing right now is stupid. I know this is hard. I know this hurts, but you're letting your guard down," he said.

"I know."

"They'll take you too. As soon as they know that you're weak, that you're not on your game, they'll take you," he said.

"That's the goal."

"What?"

"If they take me, they'll take me to Laura," I said. I looked up at the bartender and tapped a finger against my glass. He didn't make a single sound as he poured me another drink.

Xaphan stared at me in disbelief. "They'll kill you. Caleb, you'll die," he said.

"And? All I care about is being able to see her one more time, Xaphan. Even if I die... at least I got to see her one last time," I said.

"You're sick. That's sick and wrong," Xaphan said. "That's very, very wrong. You're supposed to be strong for her, Caleb. You can't let your defenses down like this."

"Except... I can. And I am. I can't survive without her, Xaphan. The hundreds of years that I have been forced to be without her have taken a toll on me. This time, I allowed to myself to get attached to her. I allowed myself to believe that we would be okay. Dracula may not have supported us, but he understood that she wanted to make her own choices. Because of that, he had agreed to not erase me from her memory again. I allowed myself to believe that we would work this time.

"And now she's been taken from me. See, you don't know what that feels like. I do." I swallowed another hard swig of my scotch. "The point is that I let my defenses fall long before she was taken from me. That very first moment she spoke to on the wall, I was gone. And when she gave me her name as if it were the first time I had met her? Oh, Xaphan, I was nothing but weak by then."