Mafia Leaders (boyxboy)

Chapter 7

Carter's POV

We finally reached a small apartment building that is run down and looks highly dangerous. "You live here?" I ask him while we walk past a very angry looking reception guy.

"Yeah being a cook in a club doesn't really pay that much." He says and unlocks his apartment. I walk in and see its not to bad compared to how it looks on the outside.

I turn to face the kitchen and see the biggest mess in my whole life. "Um...yeah, I experiment with cooking. It's a passion of mine. Always loved cooking." He says as he starts to clean up the mess.

"Why don't you work at a proper restaurant?" He chuckles humourlessly and sighs. "Yeah people don't really want someone like me to be around them." He says bitterly when he talks about himself.

"Why do you say that?" I ask as I sit down on the couch. He sighs and hangs his head. He clutches the counter tightly, making his knuckles turn white.

"I did very stupid things when I was younger. Hurt many people that I loved." He stops and just stares at a wall. "You can tell me if you want? I'm all ears." I say, I take his hand and lead him to the couch. He sits down and I sit across from him.

He just continues to stare at the wall. "Okay I understand it's your personal life, no worries." I say and smile genuinely at him. "Thank you," He says smiling back at me, "I will say this though. I may have lost the ones I loved but losing them actually made me a better person."

"What do you mean?" I ask completely lost at what he was trying to say. "Before my life was like this, I was such a dependant person on them. I never did anything for myself, always expecting someone else to do it for me. I'm not saying that I don't regret what I almost did but I am happy I left. To be who I am now."

"Why don't you just go back to them now?" I ask, he's not dependant so I don't see the problem with returning.

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "I harmed one of my closest friends. So I don't think that I nor them would ever let me be near her ever again. I regret it everyday of my life." He stops and looks to a kitchen cabinet.

"I have this disorder where I lose control of my body and I go into a panic attack. When I hurt her I thought it was someone else I once knew. I take medicine for it but that day I ran out of my pills. I never told anyone about my problem only she knew about it. After that day I never once ran out of medicine. Always kept back ups."

I looked at him wide eyes, I just couldn't believe Jason would do something like that. "Yeah, yeah I know. I'm a horrible monster. I've heard it all before." He says and bitterly laughs at himself.

"It wasn't your fault Jason. I honestly don't know why you blame yourself. It's not something you could have controlled-"

"But thats the thing! I could have stopped it, I could have told them about me and not just her! I probably wouldn't have run out of pills, then I wouldn't have harmed her! It is my fault!" He stands up and storms into his bedroom. I flinch when he slams the door shut.

I sigh and stand up, I walk over to his door and knock on it lightly. "Jason? Open up please?" I ask him, I get no reply so I try again and again.

After getting fed up I open the door and don't see him in his room. I hear muffled sobs coming from the bathroom.

I rush over to it and slam the door open reavealing Jason with a blade in his hand and a bloody wrist. "Jason stop!" I yell grabbing the blade from him and putting a cloth over his wrist.