Poems and Heartache

Thirty five

you're chewing on your lips so hard there's blood coating them like cherry red lipstick
and everyone's telling you how pretty you look and how the colour brings out your dull brown eyes

and they have no idea that your knees are trembling under the table

and they have no idea that you had to throw up your lunch to fit into the little black dress your wearing

and they have no idea that the measuring tape and scale in your wardrobe are your only friends

and they have no idea what you look like with the blinds pulled and the lights turned off.

the lies roll off your tongue and spill onto your empty plate, "I'm not feeling well"

"I already ate"

"I had a big breakfast"

and they don't even notice
how the words get caught in your throat
and they don't even notice how your hands tremble when
you push your chair in and head upstairs
and they don't even notice how you
haven't eaten supper in 6 days and that you don't leave your room anymore.

they don't even notice."