Warning: Major Character death suicidal themes
Author's note: The ending to blood drive...made me angry. If anything, Satoshi was put in this game to just be a little small sidekick if anything or the outcome of wrong ends and he's basically become a joke to alot of the fans.
He's a beloved character of mine, and if this is the end of the heavenly host saga with no conclusion then I'm going to send off my favorite character with how I felt it would end for him.
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One month
There was a small ache from an empty void in his chest during class, the pains from loneliness.
Two months
The weather was getting much colder, as was his heart. His head sometimes pounded with distorted voices that spoke too much, and reminded him that he was forgetting something important.
Two months, three weeks
Insomnia hit him, took over his brain and he found that he couldn't sleep often. His grades and classes had become to take a toll for the worst, and he found himself being tutored by Naomi. He wanted to push her away when she accidently got too close, physical contact was beginning to sicken him.
Three months
He found himself hallucinating a blond boy in the crowd of students. When he closed his eyes, he swore he could hear the blond's voice echo in his head. Somewhat deep, but had a bit of a sharp tone.
"Yoshiki..."
Four months
Another person became alive in his mind, a girl who was of short stature and whose voice was a feminine type of medium pitch and had a nasally undertone. She tended to have a type of blue-black hair. He often associated her with the boy, Yoshiki.
The two felt so familiar but he couldn't remember them, it was like reaching his hand out toward the memory but he could never grab onto it.
Five months
As students spoke of upcoming graduation and the weather cleared, melting away snow as it brightened his heart did not. It felt heavy with depression and restless nights.
Some days he couldn't even find the energy to get out of bed, he was just too sick of everything.
His sister had slowly become reliant on her friends, maturing quickly into a young teenager. She would be graduating from the middle portion of the school and entering the highschool portion, where she would begin her life as an offical Kisaragi highschooler.
He envied her joy and happiness, the friends she easily made that he could no longer make. They were attracted to her youthfulness, her childlike naviety and found it cute.
The people he had considered at least 'friends' had slowly moved away from him, disliking the dark mood around him and the shadows that remained under his eyes. Naomi had become an old childhood friend that he used to be close with. Eventually she had to move on from him.
Five months, four weeks, Graduation
Memories.
Thousands of memories that had been released into his head, from multiple timelines where his friends died in awful ways. The names of forgotten people came back to his mind, his eyes recognising their faces once more.
Shinozaki Ayumi
Kishinuma Yoshiki
Ayumi had given up everything for her friends, she had been amazing and brave in her glory even if it had ended up killing her.
Yoshiki had remained behind to stay with her, a true knight until his end in that school where he perished along wih her.
Satoshi admired their bravery, their determination, their hope.
Something, he had been too much of a coward to have. He had been virtually useless to any of his friends, and sister.
Naomi had plucked out her own eye to save him from Sachi, Ms. Kuon had thought of him to be a hope to her living again only to die protecting him and his friends, sealing Sachi away within herself only to wither away.
Ayumi had stayed behind to eat the nehan, giving up her body to it and destroying heavenly host once and for all. She had ripped open her own gut to retrieve a book that had been in charge of murdering her elder sister and mutilating our dear friends face.
Yoshiki had protected her no matter what, he had grabbed Magari in the last moment to take him with her to see Shinozaki. He had defended Ayumi from an anatomical model, multiple monsters, and stuck with her even if she was being rude and stubborn or self-loathing.
No, Mochida Satoshi could not compare himself to these wonderful, brave, and beautiful people who had done incredible things. All he had done was try to not cry when he saw his friends were being killed, not to scream when he witnessed his own deaths, and to try again when he woke up at home in his bed on the day of the culture festival once more.
He had been a coward, pretending that he would be okay as he continued on, trying to move past his friends deaths and try to push back his grief and feelings of helplessness.
Maybe, if he had embraced those feelings just like they had, he could've done something to finally change the outcome?
As he stood on the empty stage known as the front of his classroom, he bowed respectfully to the audience. The multi-colored confetti that littered the ground and had been tread on by many students, catching his attention for a moment.
The room had been decorated, streamers and banners hung, desks pushed aside, and writing from the students who were graduating from the class of 2-9 from Kisaragi saying tearful yet happy goodbye's.
"Thank you Kisaragi, for bringing me the best years of my life. This school brought me many happy times, from the moment I met my first friend Naomi to laughing with Suzumoto and Morishige at Shinohara's antics, Shinozaki playfully scolding my best friend Yoshiki.
I have to come to realize, I hate-no despise you Tenjin Shógakkó Elementary from my very core, for taking them away from me. The people who had laughed with me, teased me playfully, and had cheered me up on my off days are gone because of you. I can't bring myself to be happy again.
You took away my everything, and now I am left with my hands full of nothing but memories."
His throat began to close up, as he tried to choke back the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. No, he could not cry this time, not when he was so close.
"They echo inside my head, slowly becoming meaningless as I want them to be real. I'm afraid that as time goes on, they'll fade and I'll forget them all. Even the horrible ones.
I don't want to forget them and be left alone, forever. I just got them back and I don't want to lose sight of who i was and who I now am"
It felt incomplete, but it would do. A breeze russled through the now quiet room, the curtains moving gently like sheets in the wind, as the streams in the room became a blinding blur from sunlight.
It felt good to be free.
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Edit: Satoshi doesn't know about Ayumi and Yoshiki still being alive, so now he feels as if he really does have nothing but memories.
Edit II: If you are by any chance confused by events in the story, feel welcome to ask and I'll clear it up for you.
