Life Is a box of Chocolates.

chapter 16

I frantically paced the bathroom floor hoping the thought that accord to me yesterday was false. Oh God please let it be false.

I felt a buzzing in my hand and the sound of the alarm I had set go off. Quickly switching it off I put the phone in my pocket. Taking I deep breath I closed my eyes and walked towards the bathroom cabinet were I had put two white sticks. Opening my eyes slowly I felt my heart jump to my throat. I put the pink tops on the sticks wrapped them in tissue and put them in my pocket.

Leaving the bathroom I walked into my room pacing back and forth trying to get my breathing under control. I stared at the document I had made during the week. It was a list of things I decided last week I was going to talk to mum about. Sitting in my chair I typed one more line saved the document and closed the laptop.

Ok Salsabeel. Everything will be fine. In threw your nose .....out threw your mouth....in threw your nose.....out threw your mouth.....that's it your doing great..... OK what your going to do know is help mum with the house chores and then talk to them about this whole mess.

By then Saif biya and dad will have gone to work and ill tell Attiya to stay down as I talk to them. No sweat.

I wiped the sweat that had formed with a tissue paper and took one last deep breath before setting my plan in motion. I left my room, walked down the stairs and said Salam. After having breakfast and helping mum with the chores I called them upstairs and told Attiya to stay downstairs.

Taking mum to my room I sat them on the bed as I began to read from the monitor. I read a paragraph and we discussed it and in this manner I was able to take a load of stress off my chest. Sure i cried and got angry at times but I felt better after I had finished talking to them. I new I would need many more mother to daughter time to fully heal. Expecially with what I was about to say next.

" Ok last thing. And mum. This is the toughest thing for me to say. But I have to say it. "

"Am listening sweetie just take your time. You've done really well so far."

" Mum......am pregnant. "

Mum just stared at me as the colour left there cheeks.

Sucking my lips I continued "from my calculations am 7 weeks."

Silence. That deathly silence. Mum sighed " if he didn't want anything to do with you....how did he....... get you pregnant. " Mum struggled form the right word.

A sarcastic remark came to mind but I kept it at bay.

" That's what I've been telling you. Sometimes he'd treat my like a queen and sometimes like a slave. He used and abused me. I did two pregnancy test this morning and they came out positive. " I said showing them the sticks.

I put my head in my hands and sighed.

" Whatever happens happens for the best. This is a test from Allah. Don't be upset its not good for the baby."

Mum hugged me tight stroking my back and comforting me. By the end of it I was tiered and had a headache. Mum lead me down stairs and made me some tea.

Attiya detecting something was wrong lowered the volume of the tv. I had my feet up sipping the tea and Attiya sat beside me as we both shared a thick blanket. How day turned to night i had no idea. It was only when Mehmoona came and jaweriya camr for the pizza party I promised them last week I realized it 5 pm.

I had spent the entire afternoon in my own thoughts and thing of various scenario only getting up to pray. Mum kept telling me to think so much and have faith in god.