Life Is a box of Chocolates.

chapter 18

Shock. Nauteouse. Weak. Anger.

That's what I felt in that order when the words left his mouth. My hands curled up in to a ball as I heared someone shout out.

"How can you be so insensitive?!"

I realised it was me but that didn't stop me

"What kinda sicko are you.i just got divorced my idath (3 month period after divorce) isn't finished. I have a child growing inside me do you really think am thinking of marriage right now?!!!"

My eyes stung as tears began to form and my voice began to tremble.

" I just came out of 2 months of hell did you really think am ready enough to marry again. Seeing my brother get married and me even thinking of marriage is a total different thing.

Everyone stared at me. I'm not an aggressive person so this is a new did there swing if ne

"Did you even think this through. Even if we did get married what would people think. That rashid is right ththat was something going on between us. That - that this child is y-yours. That amma whore. Every rumour would -would become a reality. I can't belive you.

I hadn't realised I was crying. Hard. I couldn't breath so I ran out of the house to the car. I heard arguing behind but I didn't care. I gasped for air lifting my niqaab up slightly so I could breath. I tried really hard to get my breathing under control and stop crying.

I felr a hand on my shoulder and turnef around to see attiya. She looked up at me sympathy on her face. Attiya hugged my tight trying to comfort me bur it just made me cry harder. I couldn't stop. Instantly biya mum and dad were at my side trying to calm me . Dad opened the door and sat me in. Biya sat on one side an mum on the other attiya at the front. Biya grabbed his water bottle that he kept in the car and gave it to me. I drank it all in on one go.

The car journey passed quickly before I knew it we were home. I ran upstairs and stood in the middle of my room gasping. Mum and attiya rushed in the room behind me.

"Oh sweetie." Mum said soothingly

Sighing I began taking off my niqaab jabbah clothes and dressing on to my pj. I took the pins out of hair and took off the make up. All the while it felt as if a heavy brick was on my heart. My head was ponding. I hugged myself and got under the duvet. I curled up in to a ball. My back to them.

Attiya put my things away as mum sat at the edge of the bed.

My head was full of voices and memories and I wished them to go away. I squeezed my eyes shut willing my self to sleep.

I only married you because my parents wanted me to.

Once a slut always a slut.

The blood of Safeer

I rubbed my belly a slight pain froming

I remembered how Rashid made me sleep on the floor.

The day Ruby came in to the house. An imaged flashed behind my eyes of how he pulled my heavy ear rings.

I divorce you

I love you.

I rubbed my belly harder a gasps escaping my lips.

" Salsabeel? "

Hands gripped my throat banged me against the wall. The image changed I was thrown across the road.

I want to marry you.