It's been months or maybe a year since you left my heart into pieces. Anyway that's the past now and things have changed after that beautiful tragic ending, but I'll be honest. I'm still broken deep down. What is it in you that captured me? That until now I'm still here hoping for, I don't know? A miracle, I guess?
Maybe what we had was just a joke; it was not true, but it was half meant. I wish we took it seriously. Maybe I should have listened to my friends about you, but I didn't. Because I thought you're different. You're the biggest mistake in my life but also the biggest lesson that until now I can't figure out how to apply that lesson. I just want to forget you and continue with everything, but I can't, and that's the problem.
Tell me how do I forget you that fast as how you forgot me? Until now my mind is full of questions. Asking if we had something, or is it just a great illusion that you did to trick my mind that we had something but it's different from your perspective because for you, it's just an illusion? You did a great job, you made me believe that it was true. But thanks for making me happy for a while, thanks for every moment that I got to spend with you, with you being the real you, and thanks for the heartache that you gave me.
Right now, I wish I could escape the emptiness you left. You know what? Every night I think of you. I want to hear your voice once again. Your laughs. The harmony of your voice. All of it. I wanna hear you say my name again with a smile in your face. I wish we never knew each other so I wouldn't be here alone and up late at night doing a long ass message for you. You told me to never look back. I've tried that but even though I look somewhere else, all I can see is you.
Sometimes I ask myself, maybe you think I'm just a thing, a thing that even if you left a hundred times it wouldn't be hurt. But let me tell you this, I'm not a thing. I'm the girl who fell for your trap, who now then can't escape.
What do you think am I? A door? A door you can pull as close as possible to you and then push it as far as it can go after? It's been a while but I still feel the same, but maybe it's time that I let you go.
You used to be my lullaby, but now you haunt me every night with our memories...
I woke up from my sleep last night, something I felt wrong and I don't know what was. . . I took a deep breath but I can't.
Now, I finally know what it is, It's my heart, it still aches.
