Your World, My World

Chapter 9: Untold Pain

Your World, My World.

Chapter 9: Untold Pain

I find myself gaping at the leaf-covered ground that lays before me. Instead of sitting on the concrete benches that surround the fountain, I sit on the edge of the fountain where I found that girl but only sitting on the opposite end where she did. My body hunched over leaning even closer to the ground is enough for me to cool down. Not only from the drops of water that slams against the back of my neck, but also to clear my mind a little from the fog of questions that seems to haunt my head.

Programs don't have past lives. Programs aren't even supposed to have kokoros or souls, if that's what it's called. Human souls can't get into something that isn't truly alive after they die, right? Is it truly possible that after your death, your soul can sneak its way into something else? If so, that just adds more questions to the list.

Questions that only my creator can answer.

I turn my head and stare at the crystal clear water instead of the cold earthy ground. My bangs flow down alongside my face while the rest of the long, think hair is tied into high pigtails. But the bangs themselves are long enough to limit my view of vision, which makes only the flowing water visible.

But Master is dead.

I saw Len kill him the first time I woke up in this life. Master was the first other being I saw-and he was the first death. Why would he kill me because I didn't know my name? Couldn't he just tell me? My soul keeps repeating in this body when I die anyway, so couldn't Len just wait a few more minutes? Maybe I would know my past by now if I woke up as a reborn soul.

No.

This isn't about Len. This is about Master... it's about me. But Len made it a part of the reason why I have so many questions to ask, all because he saved my life. Now Len is a part of who I am now... a very big part. If only Len had let Master improve on my mistakes, then I would know who I was in the past and I wouldn't be so confused.

What if I went to the lab and surrendered myself to the servants? Do they have the answers I seek for..? Of course they would, or at least one of them. No ruler I know can keep a secret goal to themselves, they have to share it with someone else. Right? My past has somehow gotten to Len to the point where he can't let go... if only I knew what he knows. Say I did go to the lab and I asked all the questions about my past that bothered me, get them answered, feel complete about my soul, and let them reset me like they originally wanted?

No, Miku. No. You can't do that. If you let them reset you, all of the other Vocaloids will die inside of you as you upgrade to a better version.

I quickly shake my head and dismiss the thought. I may want to find out more about myself, but I will not do it if I risk the lives of other souls. But would their souls be reborn like mine does? Or would they die along with their programmed bodies? Whatever it is, I'm not taking the chance.

But...

My eyes slowly close as my blood starts to pump lightly against my head and ears. The headache makes my thoughts much more painful.

What do I do? Go with Master's original plan for the better of my future or let everyone that's my kind die? It should be pretty obvious which one is the right thing to do, but I'm not even sure if these other programs are the good guys or the bad guys here.

I lean my body softly towards the fountain's water that lays to my left while my eyes are shut from the world. Before I know it, I can feel myself falling sideways. The rush of soft wind against my face calms me down, but it's nothing compared to the cool water that splashes against the side of my face as my entire body meets the fountain's glistening water.