Memories {A compilation of Britin short stories}

Story 29: Baby Troubles

Fuck, Brian thought. I can't believe we actually did this... It wasn't them that did it, of course. Well, he and Justin had been a big part of the baby-making process, as much as he'd hated to refer to it as such. But even then, the surrogate did most of the work. Hell, he couldn't even imagine what it must have been like to carry someone else's kid—a couple of fags' kid, no less—for nine months. It was unfathomable. He shuddered at the idea of it.

But even still, as Brian looked down at his newborn son, he knew he had no regrets. There wasn't any room for regret as his heart had swelled to near bursting as soon as he'd set eyes on the baby boy—Braxton. The name fit him so perfectly. And even as he stared down at the baby's face, he could feel his lover's eyes on him, gauging his reaction. Brian knew it was only a matter of time before Justin would break the silence.

Justin watched Brian hold their newborn son. He could have cried with how much joy he felt. Their son. Braxton. He was perfect. Brian looked at Braxton the same way Justin remembered he looked at Gus the first night they met. Like he had instantly fallen in love.

Justin came to stand next to Brian looking down at the child's face. "He's so beautiful. I wonder which one of us he'll look like." They had decided to both give sperm and have a random inception. They didn't know which one of them was Braxton's biological dad and they were sure they would figure it out later on in life, but it didn't matter. He was both of theirs.

Brian forced his gaze away from the newborn's face and turned his head to look at Justin. He knew how he felt about the issue, but he had no idea what was going on in Justin's head. They'd discussed it, of course, over and over again. Still, he couldn't help but offer, "Are you sure you don't want to know?"

"I'm sure. It doesn't matter. We're both his parents. You know that." Justin paused for a moment. "Do you want to know?"

Without much thought, Brian shook his head. "No," was his simple answer as he turned his attention back to the newborn. "He's perfect," he said, almost to himself. He ran the tip of his finger over Braxton's cheek before looking up at Justin. "You wanna hold him?"

Justin nodded. He took the baby from Brian and held it in his arms. He smiled down at Braxton and kissed his forehead. "He's beautiful."

Brian nodded in agreement. "Have you called your mom yet?" he asked, unable to tear his eyes away from the baby's face.

"Yeah. I called her a few minutes ago. She's on her way. Did you call Deb?"

Brian shook his head before he walked over to sit down in the one of the hospital chairs. "No. I don't think I'm ready for her...enthusiasm right now."

"She's going to be pissed you didn't call her right away."

"I know," Brian sighed. "I'll call her in a bit. I just want to relax a little before the circus comes flooding through the door with whatever 'It's a boy!' paraphernalia the giftshop downstairs had to offer." He glanced up at Justin with tired eyes. "Besides, the nurses are probably gonna take him soon so they can run tests."

"I know." Justin sighed and looked down at Braxton. "I don't want him to go yet. I like holding him."

Brian smiled, unable to contain it. "I know you do," he said, his gaze softening. "Just think about how much you can hold him once we break him out of here and get him home."

"I know." The nurse came in to take Braxton. Justin kissed his head before handing him over. When they were gone, he sat next to Brian. "I can't wait to get him home."

Brian chuckled. "You say that now. You haven't heard him cry yet."

"I've babysat Gus a lot. I've heard him cry. I know what it's like."