Hetalia Oneshots (Requests Open)

North Italy [Feliciano Vargas]

Invisible

By: Skylar Grey

North Italy x Reader

Requested By: [CheesePanda is praying for Paris]

I take these pills, to make me thin.

I dyed my hair, and cut my skin.

Smiling, you hold your head up and laugh along with a large group of friends. You were semi-popular, "pretty", athletic, and pretty smart. Keeping a fake personality on the outside. But the truth was, you break down as soon as you close the door of your room. You'll never let anyone see your weak side. You don't want to destroy everything that you worked hard to achieve.

I tried everything, to make them see.

But all they see, is something that isn't me.

You were pretty much a loner throughout elementary school, just because you were slightly different. You had a different way of thinking, being a slight pessimist and having darker thoughts than others. And they judged you for it. But, it's not really your fault that you had to cope up with the inner turmoil... Right? Your parents fought all the time, they call you a disgrace and a big disappointment. The worst part was, you believed them, calling yourself an idiot every single time you made a mistake. Apparently, that was depressing, but you didn't care, you were used to it. You had no friends to go to, not even a sibling, you never got along so well. You were OK with that too, you didn't want, no, need anyone's pity.

In your second year of middle school, you decided to pretend that all your troubles weren't there. Act like a "normal" person, then maybe people will start liking you. Creating a complete alternate and fake personality you went along with you plan. You made a ton of new friends, and people actually started talking to you. The key was to always smile and laugh.

Even when I'm walking on a wire,

Even when I set myself on fire,

Why do I feel so invisible, invisible?

Despite all of this, you yearned for something... something... that you couldn't pinpoint. What was this empty feeling in your heart? The constant heaviness that would keep you up all night, the constant pain that makes you want to end it all. Why is it there? "I am happy, I have everything I could've ever dreamed of", you keep telling yourself. But it never goes away.

At school, someone makes a joke about the freak who always sits by himself. He was stupid and overly talkative, just plain annoying. You found no humor, but you laughed anyways, a weak forced laugh that no one seemed to notice but you. Your group of friends walk past your locker and you leave the group to get your stuff. You whisper bye, but no one seems to notice. Sighing underneath your breathe, you just smile and wave. Not good enough, Not good enough.

Everyday I try to look my best,

Even though I'm such a mess,

Why do I feel so invisible, invisible?

The bell rang, signaling the start of another boring lecture to start off the class. You go to the name brand shops to buy clothes. You never wore anything more than once in a week. Why wouldn't anyone notice you? While thinking, you never noticed the teacher calling your name, once, twice, thrice.

"What?" You said, quite stupidly, forcing a bit of laughter. Inside, you kept chanting, Stupid, idiot, dumbass, baka. The whole class at you, no, with you... right? Then you notice the one guy, sitting off to the very left corner, while you were located right smack dab in the middle. He had short brown hair and warm brown chocolate colored eyes. He didn't laugh at you, but offered you a warm, genuine, and encouraging smile.