Letters I've Written, Never Meaning To Send

Sunday

John,

Today was the day you told me you loved me. After a year and a half of dating, you finally said those six little words I had been dying to hear.

"Jane, I'm in love with you."

We had been laying in the back of your pickup truck, blankets and pillows surrounding us as we gazed at the stars above. You had been pointing out all the constellations to me, knowing I loved when you told me the stories behind them. Our fingers had been intertwined, our feet occasionally bumping together when we shifted to get more comfortable.

As I gazed up at the infinite amount of stars above, I had felt your gaze. I had turned my head and gave you a soft smile, one which you returned. After a moment, your smile was replaced with worry. I had lifted a hand, smoothing out your furrowed brows with a finger as I waited for you to tell me whatever it was that had been on your mind.

A few minutes passed, I'm assuming there were just too many things running through your head for you to decide on what you wanted to say. Eventually, you did make a choice.

You had reached out to me, your finger tracing my upper lip as you looked into my eyes. You tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, biting your lip as you did so. You were nervous, that much was plain to see.

Dropping your hand from my face, your lips parted and the most beautiful words poured out.

At first I had been stunned. Sure, we had been together for awhile, but I knew how hard it was for you to express your emotions. Once everything registered, I felt my heart swell and my stomach flutter. My heart pounded in my chest and I could hear it in my ears. Everything suddenly gained a reddish hue, everything was suddenly soaked with love.

I had grabbed your face between my fingers and pulled you to me. Kissing you with so much passion it hurt. I was too stunned to say anything, too tongue tied to form words, so I tried to pour out what I was trying to say with my kiss. I loved you as well, John.

You had pulled back, a smile on your now slightly red lips, and offered to take me home. I had agreed, thinking that maybe it was a little too late for us to be out here all alone after just confessing our love for each other. Well, you had confessed your love and I had tried to pass the passion from my body into yours between our lips and shared breaths.

You had helped me down from the bed of the truck, shutting the tailgait once I had grabbed my bag. Following me to the passenger side, you had opened the door and brought my hand to your lips. I had blushed, quickly climbing inside the cab as you shut the door. The simple things could still fill my heart with a feeling I had never experienced with anyone before you.

You had driven me home, holding my hand the entire way. I caught you glancing over from time to time, I would look at you too when I was sure you wouldn't notice. After all this time, I still couldn't believe you were mine.

When we got to my place, you had walked me to my door. We had stood under the porch light, just taking in the presence of the other. I had reached up on my tiptoes and gave you a kiss on the cheek before unlocking the door and slipping inside.

I'll never tell you this, but once I had turned the lock, I had slid down the door and sat on the floor for an hour in awe. You had told me you loved me. I'll never tell you this, but you are my wonder wall John.

-Jane