Twisted Game of Destiny

TGOD- 13

LEA

I don't know if I left my sanity inside the restaurant. Hindi ko alam kung nasa katinuan pa ako habang naglalakad pabalik sa kotse ko. I was expecting Denise to actually beg for me but instead, it was worse. I couldn't think of any way that could best resolve this problem. Does Aga know about this? I believe not as he isn't doing anything yet. That talk perhaps is a permission that I could break the news to my husband.

Kailan pa lang kami nagka-ayos ng asawa ko. Kailan pa lang kami nabuo ulit. I promised myself not to let anyone break us apart again but fate could really be playful sometimes, 'no? Of course, I wouldn't deny the fact that Denise's pregnancy crossed my mind. Sigurado naman akong malaki talaga ang posibilidad na mabuntis si Denise pero hindi ko inakalang magkakatotoo talaga.

Siguro kung hindi naman ako bumalik pa sa buhay ni Aga, sila rin ang nagkatuluyan. Siguro kung hindi ako bumalik, hindi magiging ganito ka-kumplikado ang sitwasyon. Pero ako naman ang bida sa kwento namin, 'di ba? Umalis lang ako, I suddenly became the antagonist.

I cried hard inside my car. I couldn't start the engine as my hands were trembling. I felt a lump in my throat that wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried to swallow it. God knows how hard I prayed for this every night. How I promised the world that once Aga and I reunite, I would be better. That I would be stronger than I was before. And if I have become stronger, then nothing should break me anymore, right?

Life is so unfair. It is so selfish. At the moment, hindi ko alam kung sinong dapat kong sisihin at kung kanino ako dapat magalit. Should I blame Aga? Should I be mad at Denise? Or should I blame myself?

Kasalanan ba ng pusong magmahal? At kung kasalanan man, eh 'di tatlo kaming may mali sa pagkakataong 'to? I couldn't just blame Aga for impregnating Denise kasi just din namang isiping naging sila. But I couldn't help but be bitter.

I left the country without any plans of getting into another relationship. Of course I was still in love with my husband and leaving him doesn't mean I'm loving someone else. I'm never open for anyone. Kay Aga lang.

I don't want to call Aga and burst everything to him so I instead called my friends. I need them at the moment. I don'y want to cry all day inside my car. I need to do something. I need to vent out.

I was very eager and I was convincing myself not to cry in front of my friends but when Dawn spread her arms to enclose me in a tight and warm hug, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Tuloy-tuloy ang buhos ng luha sa pisngi ko. I buried my face on her chest and my sobbed went a little louder.

"The last time I saw you crying this hard was a few years ago," Vice uttered when I finally unlocked myself from Dawn's embrace. I smiled at her and she gave back that smile.

He handed me a glass of water and I gladly accepted it. Silence was reigning inside the room and none of them opened their mouths while I was drinking.

"Akala ko nga hindi na ako marunong umiyak, eh," I tried joking but I only looked like an idiot.

"Ano bang napag-usapan ninyo ni Denise? Jusko, Lea, ubos na 'yong ideas namin nina Dawn kahuhula kung ano bang pinag-usapan ninyo."

"Inasar ka ba? Pinikon ka? Tinisod ka ba?" Vina chuckled, trying to lift up my mood.

I took time to breathe and calm myself. Hanggang sa wala nang luhang pumapatak mula sa mata ko. Kailangan kong humugot ng lakas para makapagsalita at mag-kwento.