Gone(rizzoli And Isles)

chapter 5

Back at BPD, Jane's abduction, along with the murder of the homeless man were both open and cold. Frost and Korsak feared the worse after not hearing anything or getting any clues after the first three weeks.

Both Frost and Korsak knew that the loss of Jane had taken a toll on Dr. Isles. She had reverted back to her old self of being an extreme introvert. She did not hang out with Frost or Korsak at the Dirty Robber anymore despite their offers. She did not even visit with Angela at the café like she used to. They both hated how this had affected her.

Angela refused to believe Jane was dead. She refused to have any kind of a memorial service. Her response to everyone was that Jane was a fighter and she would be back.

Frankie knew his ma was in denial, but technically Jane was still missing. Could not declare her dead until seven years had passed.

Even through her grief, Angela saw how hard the whole thing had been on Maura. Angela, being the ever observant mother she was, knew that there was more to the relationship between Maura and her daughter even if neither one of them saw it. She saw the glances, the lingering looks, the touching, the protectiveness that each one had for the other. Yeah, best friends do that sometimes, but not like those two. It was obvious that there was a mutual attraction beyond friendship. Angela knew that it was basically as if Maura lost her spouse or significant other. Besides Maura was like a daughter to Angela and it hurt Angela to see Maura withdrawing into herself. She decided she was going to try to get Maura to talk to her.

Angela took a break from the café and gathered up a salad and a tea and took off toward the morgue.

"Maura, honey, are you in here?" Angela asked.

"Hi Angela," Maura replied flatly.

"I brought you a salad and some tea for lunch. You need to try to eat."

"Thanks Angela but I am just not hungry."

"Maura, when was the last time you ate?"

"Uh, I ate a salad for lunch yesterday I guess."

"OK, so you have not eaten since lunch yesterday. Now eat before you get sick."

"Angela, I appreciate the gesture, but I am just not hungry."

"Maura, I know how you feel. It takes all my strength to keep going and not break down, but I just know deep down that Jane is alive and that we will see her again. I know it sounds crazy, but it is what keeps me going; what allows me to get up in the mornings. Now you know you are just like my daughter and I want you to keep your strength up." Angela started tearing up as she continued. "I don't want to lose you too, Maura."

Seeing the tears welling up in Angela's eyes as she said those last words to her, Maura started tearing up as well. "I am sorry Angela. It's just, I was so hateful and petty with Jane those last few weeks. I acted like a spoiled teenager that did not get their way and pouted and ignored the person who I felt slighted me; that same person being the one that I would give anything to be able to hold again."

Angela caught the last phrase Maura said and decided to say what had been on her mind for a while. "Maura, you are in love with Jane."

"No, Angela, I…"

"No, listen, Maura. I see how you two are around each other. You two are always together, laughing. I see the lingering glances, the expressions, the touches. It goes beyond friendship. I also know that Jane feels the same for you. You two keep going out with guys only to tell each other how he is not right for you and then you don't stay in the relationship. Can't you see why? You are already in a relationship, you just don't know it."

"Angela, I, you, I don't know. There may be some truth to what you say. I know I loved Jane with every fiber of my being and that place in my soul is now empty."

"Maura, don't lose faith. I know you're all about the science, but positive thoughts being put out into the universe is a powerful resource." Angela said as she was walking out the door of Maura's office. "Eat, Maura," she said as she exited.

Maura looked at the salad and could not help but smile. Jane's family really was her family too. Angela said Jane loved her too. Maura doubted that. How could Jane love someone who treated like I have treated her? If she did love her, she sure wouldn't now. Maura decided she would try to be more positive. Maybe Jane is still out there, and maybe the universe would bring her back to Maura.

      

Jane began to come back out of her drug slumber. She propped herself up against the side of the building and tried to pull herself out of the fog. After about ten minutes she tried to stand up. This time she was successful. God her head was hurting. She reached up and felt dried blood on her head. Guess it was split open when I fell, or when they shoved me out here, at least I think that is what happened. God my mind is like a TV when the person is channel surfing real fast; just little snippets of things.

Where the hell am I now? Jane thought. She looked around at the buildings and saw a few that were familiar. Damn, I am in the worst part of the South side of Boston. Jane started walking. She needed to try to get to her apartment. She could figure everything out then. As she walked, more like staggered, down the sidewalk, she felt that urge that she had now come to know so well. She needed a fix. She was coming off the last one they gave her and she was starting to feel clammy and nauseous. I am free. I am not being held prisoner anymore so there is no reason for me to shoot up. I can fight this. Jane thought. As she continued walking, she realized that she could not concentrate on where she was or how to get back to her apartment. She reached down to put her hands in her jacket pockets when she felt something. She stopped, pulled out the baggie and the syringe. Inside the baggie, there was a note with a number on it and a lighter. She stood there staring at the drug and realized that if she just took a hit of it that she would be more coherent for a while. She may be able function better and get herself out of here. Just a little hit to take the edge off that was becoming more and more overwhelming.

Jane put the drug and syringe back in her pocket and walked back toward the vacant warehouse. Jane knew enough that she did not need to be caught on the street with the drug and she had to find a safe place to shoot up. Jane was able to pry a board back and slip into the warehouse. Not her first choice for a safe location, but she needed a fix and she needed it now. She walked over to an area in the east corner. She had to find a spoon or can or something to turn the heroin into a liquid. As she was looking around for a metal container, her withdrawal started getting worse. She was shaking, but she was angry, crazy angry. She was angry because she, a decorated detective was looking for anything she could find to liquefy her drug so she could get high; angry because she was not finding anything. Jane started screaming and kicking everything in her path. Finally, over by on old barrel, she found a dirty spoon; probably someone else's drug paraphernalia. Jane spit on the dusty spoon and wiped it as clean as she could with her shirt. She used the lighter to heat the spoon just to kill the germs that might be there. She took out a piece of the drug and placed it in the spoon. She heated it up and took the syringe and pulled the liquid into the syringe. She pulled her pants down and injected the liquid into her thigh. She took some deep breaths and within five minutes she was no longer shaking or nauseous. She was just fine, right as rain now.

Jane started back down the sidewalk again after getting her fix. She was going to get to her apartment. As she walked down the sidewalk she saw a drug deal taking place at a street corner. Jane walked up to the dealer. "Hey man, Boston PD, you best get your ass out of here before I bust you up one end and down the other."

"What the fuck," the dealer said. "You said you is a cop. Let me see your badge, mamacita."

Jane went to her belt, but realized there was no badge, no phone and no gun. "Shit."