Calm as the Ocean <Finnick Odair>

Mermaid Rock

As I wander through the endless arena, I see the final career boy. It's just me and him, nobody else. He stares at me, challenging me, and I lift my trident, aiming at his heart. In less than a second my muscles tense and I throw the trident with all my remaining strength. I hear the sickening sweet sound of metal going through flesh that I've become used to. I see the boy fall dead and I hear the cannon.

His desperate scream echoes in my head and I shoot up, screaming myself. I hear a comforting voice soothing me after my horrid nightmare.

"Hey, it's ok, just breath. Everything is alright, it wasn't real." He rambles.

I look up into my best friend's brilliant sea green eyes. Worry covers his face as he tries to calm me down and stop my screaming. Ever since my games this happens, and it seems to get worse with each day that passes. He claims he's never met a victor with 'symptoms' as bad as mine. 'Symptoms' that never go away, no matter how hard I try. 'Symptoms' that restrict me from a normal life. 'Symptoms' that control me from inside out. 'Symptoms' that are actually memories of fear, from my Games.

"Alyssa, please calm down, nothing will happen to you. It wasn't real, please." He begs.

"No Finnick, how do you know they weren't real?!" I say in panic.

My breathing is heavy and hot tears sting my eyes. I still hear the boy's terrible last scream inside my head, echoing endlessly.

"They weren't. I promise, they were just nightmares." He tries to explain.

For some reason I believe him. Probably because I know Finnick would never lie to me. He's been there since forever. I don't even answer him, I just try to control my breathing before I pass out. He rubs my back and I wipe my teary eyes before he sees me cry. I can't let that happen.

"Shhh, it's ok. Nothing bad will ever happen to you. I'll protect you." He comforts me while stroking my hair.

I feel the bed dip and the covers move. I know he's laying right next to me but for some reason when he tries to tuck hair behind my ear, I flinch. Like always. I'm not afraid of him, he knows that. I'm just scared of anything that might hurt me, so I flinch, recoil, draw back, and sometimes fight back. It just depends. I know he would never hurt me though.

I close my eyes again and try to dream of the ocean, my happy place. Every time I am sad, mad, shocked, anything, I go to the ocean. I succeed and fall into a light sleep, always listening for something that could hurt me.
..............

Morning comes with a soft breeze of fresh air through my open window. I slowly get out of bed, careful not to wake Finnick up. I sneak across the room and into the bathroom, where I change into my swim suit. I decide that the ocean is the best place for me right now. I brush my hair and teeth and leave Finnick a note telling him where I will be. I sign it and grab a knife, just in case.

I take the sandy shortcut through District Four and excitement fills me as the large ocean comes into view. I see the blue green waves calmly moving out in the deep. Those waves remind me so much of Finnick's eyes, it's insane how beautiful his eyes are. I walk through some shallow water to a rock out in the water. I climb up onto it and sit, watching the waves wash onto the shore, only to return to the huge ocean where it belongs.

A while later, something or someone taps me on the shoulder. I quickly draw my knife out and turn to throw, seeing Finnick behind me. His eyes are wide with fear and surprise as he puts his hands up, signaling that he means no harm. I put the knife back and he sits down beside me. I see him looking out at the rolling waves ahead.