All Consuming

Chapter 42- Ending Of It All

I stare at myself in the mirror, crushing my lips with my teeth.

What have I done.

The question plays with my head; wrecking the insides of my skull.

My breathing becomes hitched and I panic taking a hard, long look at myself in the mirror.

I don't want to wake Bailey. I hastily grab my clothes together and put them on and leave tiptoeing from the room.

I shut the door behind me; finally some air I think to myself. I wrap my hands through my hair and walk down the road holding myself.

I manage to reach the drug store and hesitantly walk in, taking in my surroundings making sure no one else is in here.

I walk around and find what I'm looking for.

'Clear blue pregnancy test'

I walk upto the desk keeping my head down, trying to not make eye contact with the lady serving.

She scans it and says

"That'll be 5.99 please"

I hand her the money and leave the store quickly stuffing the test into my pocket.

I leave the store pulling my hood over my head trying not to look at anyone.

I make my way to the park and find my way into the public toilets and lock the door so no one else can come in.

I take the test out pressing my fingers in my mouth pacing up and down the bathroom reading it.

I make my way into the cubical and do what I have to.

I come out and place it down on the edge of the sink and wait.

I stand waiting for what seems to be hours.

I stare into the mirror at myself trying to see what's happening in my head.

'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU'?!"

I scream to myself as I burst out into tears onto the cold floor of the toilets.

I sit on the floor and deliberate weather to call Bailey or not, I don't think I can do this.

I start to rise up knowing the test should be done and I try to look through my tear-filled eyes but I can't.

I take a deep breath....

I look down and see the results. I then put it straight back into my pocket and leave.

I know what I have to do.

I walk as quickly as I can to Baileys without causing a stir in the street.

I knock the door and step back.

He opens it and grabs me into his embrace. I pull back before I burst out crying and keep a straight face.

"I can't do this anymore" giving a spiral hand motion

"What do you mean?" His eyes widen

"Bailey were done" I stand straight faced

"You can't do this to me, you promised" he runs his hands over his face.

"Erika come in a second please" he grabs my arm

"No! Let go of me, we're done here I can't do it" and I pull away fast

And with that he collapses on the floor, I've hurt him, really hurt him.

I turn round and walk away before I burst into tears from the boy I've just broken.

I walk away and never look back again, I take the test out my pocket and have a look one last time and read the positive sign, and then I place it back in my pocket and just walk away.

I can't look back.