Imagines

Barry Allen -The Flash-

"Meagan, I don't love Matt," I say bluntly. My best friend and I were sitting in my room having a little catch up time. The two of us had gone separate ways after graduating from high school. I went into journalism while Meagan went into cosmetology. We didn't see each other much, so once in a while we would have a little get together, a time in which we could tell one another everything that has been going on with the other. 

Meagan's green eyes dilate in surprise, "What? When did this happen?"

I sigh, "Well, I mean...I guess I have been dating him to get my thoughts off of well...you know..." 

Meagan jolts her head towards the wall, in which on the other side was Barry Allen's room. 

I purse my lips and nod. 

Barry had a rough past. His mother was murdered, well not just murdered, but murdered by his father. Barry could hardly believe it. His mother was dead, and his father sent to prison. Barry, to this day, does not believe that his father was the one to kill his mother. Just thinking about the things he has been through causes me pain. It hurts to know all the things that Barry has been through. He was only 11 when those things occurred. Ever since the traumatic event my father has been taking care of Barry as if he was his own son. Barry and I had anyway been best friends, but when he came to live with us, we got even closer. Barry has been staying with us for 15 years now, and only recently have I noticed that my feelings for him were not just that of a friend's. 

"When Barry had been struck by lightning,  during the 9 month time period in which he was in a coma, I realized that I didn't think I could live without him. I love him." I explain to Meagan, "But I am positive that he does not feel the same way about me. Barry and I have always been friends. Just friends, nothing more. When Matt had asked me out, I said yes. It wasn't because I liked  him, I mean yes he is cute, but I don't love him. I have no feelings for Matt in that way. I just feel as if I have to continue on with my life. I can't just let my feelings for Barry hold me back from being happy. It's just, even when I am with Matt, I still think about Barry. I know that I love Barry, not Matt. I feel guilty when I am with Matt. I feel guilty that I am lying to him. And I also feel as if I am cheating on Barry because I feel the way I do about him. But...I mean...ugh." I trail off, and place my head in my hands. 

Meagan puts a hand on my shoulder, "Hannah, you love Barry." she says gently, "no matter what you try to do, you can't stop those feelings. You can't just replace them with another guy and hope that you will eventually develop feelings for that man. You won't. Love is love. You can't stop it from getting its way." 

"But Barry doesn't feel the same," I wipe a tear from my cheek with the corner of my sleeve. 

Meagan gets off of my bed and grabs the box of tissue that was sitting on my dresser. She comes back over to my bed and sits down beside me, handing me the tissue box. 

"Thanks," I wipe the corner of my eyes with the tissue.

"Have you ever asked him, Hannah?" She asks.

I shake my head, "Of course not. It would just ruin the relationship that we have." 

"But if you are hurting so much, what is this relationship worth?  I mean, it is just causing you more pain. Do you genuinely feel happy with him, knowing that you can only be friends?" Meagan's voice is stern, yet soft. 

"No," I admit, "I don't. Just...I don't think I can tell him how I feel. I'm too scared." 

Meagan sighs, putting an arm around my shoulder, "Then think about Matt." 

"That just makes it worse. I hate lying to him." I sniffle. 

"Than tell him the truth. Tell him that you care about him as a friend, which you do, right?"