Mental Illness Tales

Its taking over..

My anxiety is hitting me harder then I thought

I have changed, I am now more afraid then ever, I am more scared then ever, I have the emotion fear.

I haven't feared or been afraid of anything in a very long time, my childhood wasn't the best I admit. But I made the best of it, I tried my hardest with what I had.

Its getting that bad that I flinched when I had a ball pitched to me in softball, I have never flinched at a ball, I have played this sport for 4 years now and have never flinched and I flinched for the first time, I felt fear come through my body I felt afraid of the ball.....Am I strong enough?

But I am tired, I can't deal with my social groups fighting anymore, I can't deal with me waking up every morning to check up on my nan, the women who practically raised me to see if she is alive, to wake up all throughout the night to see if she is still breathing, I can't handle fights anymore, I can't handle the fact of being disowned.

For the people who know me, i may smile a shit tone but I sad. the only times I have been happy in these past couple months have been because of one person (yes it may seem corny) but she has brought a smile to me, she brought happiness back to me..I really really hope she stays