Mental Illness Tales

The Feeling of Depression and something special

1) The feeling of depression feels like a weight upon your shoulders but you don't know what the weight is...

2) Feeling like no one really cares about you or you purposely push people away.....

3) The feeling of a empty hole in your chest that doesn't seem to be able to be filled by anything you do...it just gets bigger and bigger...

1) That weight is there don't say there isn't there is a weight and its going to build if you let it, focus on something that requires progression like painting or what I do writing a book. Trust me is helps

2) People care, everything cares, your friends care, your parents or caregivers or grandparents heck even your uncle, they all care. Even your dog cares who is he going to cuddle if your not there to cuddle him? the cat hell no that thing hits him alot.....so yeah people care just need to find out who

3) The hole in your chest only gets bigger if you let it get bigger.....unfortunately some people like myself let it get bigger but I plan on changing that.

Here is something I wrote:

We can't escape this darkness,

It just seems to consume like the arsenic poison.

The more we run and the more we hide deeper inside, 

The bigger it will get and the stronger the fright will get.

The fear of loneliness or the fear of hurting others,

It makes you push them all away, say things you never meant to say.

I know I can fuck up, a lot of the time its because I let this depression of mine,

Lett it drive itself inside, take control of the wheel while I am in the back set.

There isn't a way to stop it, 

yes I feel like shit, yes sometimes I feel like I can't go on no more, yes at times I push everyone away....

But the thing that hits t he depression deep inside which causes your fears a reality...

Is when you feel like you have lost the one you have loved...

I didn't say this is a happy story, I didn't say there is a happy ending..

But there is one thing I plan on doing and that is put everything I got into making sure I give that special someone of mine a happy ending, even if I have to walk to hell, bare foot and shattered glass I will fucking do it. Break bones? eh they heal, Bare scares? ey they show my courage....But there is something that everyone with depression or anxiety or just anything always questions themselves or even ask themselves its like the massive fork in the road for giving up or giving it or all...It's the questions that makes me stay late up at night, want to know what it is?

Is it really worth it?