Sincerely, The Girl You Used To Know

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Closure

I close both locks below the window

I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

 

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

 

In cards and flowers on your window

Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

 

And the sun will set for you

The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day

Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

‘Everything happens for a reason.’ My grandma used to tell me when I was little, She was the one woman I could really count on for the truth, and when she died when I was 9, everything changed. I’ve had a lot of things go on in my life to make me believe that, it’s just a myth. People can choose to believe that or they can choose to think that it’s a load of crap. I tend to stand in the middle of deciding to believe and choosing not to. Things can only go right if you let them. But what if nothing is right and everything is wrong? And what if it can hurt somebody?

Alice’s questions had hit me like a ton of bricks, her words were right, I need to decide, and fast before anyone else can be seriously damaged.

No - I crush Edward, I hurt the Cullen’s. Alice, Esme, all of them. I could almost feel the pain.

Yes – I make everyone happy, I get the love of my life, and I get what I wanted and more. But will I truly honestly be happy?

Tic, Tic, Tic the clock is about to trick midnight and I didn’t get my Cinderella story. My foot never slipped out of a delicate glass slipper, leaving my prince charming with any hope of finding me any hope of finally getting his bride… Either way, it’s time to face the music.

“You don’t have to answer right now.” I flinched in realization that I am not alone. Did I say that out loud?

My thoughts suddenly felt very unsafe. Alice had been mad at me for the last hour and she won’t tell me why. “Don’t mind me I’ve just been trying to figure out why your future disappeared when I was looking for the answers to my questions.” She looked at me and frowned.

“Alice I,” Should stop talking. Once she told me I realized that’s what I wanted to do. I needed to see Jacob. Finally get closure and maybe being there I will figure out who I need closure with. Who I need to finally let go of.

The doctor was waiting on results and I sat there impatiently, in hopes that I will get to leave. With the spare time I have because it seems to take so long to find out results I asked Alice if I could have a few moments alone.

“Edward,”

I wrote. There weren’t any words to tell Edward, we are two separate worlds right not. That dream changed everything, being a vampire isn’t really on the list of things to do right now. I quickly erased and rewrote.

“Jacob,”

His name seem to drag out on the paper. I sat and stared pleading it to please write the words I don’t know to say. For what felt like the longest time the paper stayed blank, the pen never moved. It’s not that easy, so instead I wrote,

(POV change! You’ll know at the end I just didn’t what to ruin the dramatic-ness with the change of a POV.)

Alice,

For hours I have looked at this paper wondering who it is that I need to say goodbye to, I don’t know if you’re ever going to have an answer that you want, you may not be pleased with the only words I can say to you now. I guess you were right I don’t see myself clearly but let’s be honest when Edward left I changed, I found a part of myself I didn’t know I had. I know what ever answer I give its going to hurt someone, I may not even agree with the answer myself at first. But I have to follow my heart. I’m never going to be the same. But I need you to trust me, I’m looking for closure and I can’t find it here. I love you Alice and please understand that it’s going to take time, and don’t take this as a goodbye but as a… I’ll let you decide what this is.

Sincerely, the Girl You used to know.

Bella finished the last word and I was already out of my seat running to her room. The white door appeared in front of me, Bella was already gone and her note sat silently in the middle of the bed. My note with my name printed clearly on the top kept running through my head.

(See I told you all from the beginning that this story wasn’t going to be happy, maybe it will be towards the end of the story but Please don’t hate me!!! Like.Fan.Vote!!)