Today, let me tell you, the world just took one huge deliberate crap on my face. My boss is a jackass and is telling me if I don't take my job seriously, I'm fired and he can go dig a hole and jump in it and let's not get into it further.
Joe has a girlfriend.
Not me.
But an actual girlfriend.
HE AS A GIRLFRIEND SOMEWHERE IN OHIO GUYS AND SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT AND PUT THEM IN A DRAWER AND THE CLOSE THE DRAWER AND LIGHT THE DRESSER THAT THE DRAWER IS IN ON FIRE AND WATCH IT BURN WITH MY EYELESS EYE SOCKETS AS I TOUCH YOUR FACE (just kidding we don't touch me right now I'm in an emotional state).
I also shared my horrible memories with strangers that I am more than positive think I am some stranger who's out to bury them and their brothers in their yards.
I don't think I've ever shared with you the story, but now that it's out there, we might as well just toss it all out in the open for everyone to read and see and laugh about.
Once, when I and a couple of girls I know (girls I know; not friends) were wandering about the streets of Australia (this was last year guys remember summer 2012 when Australia was a big deal and then things were forgotten as soon as Miami? Oh.) and we found Niall and Louis and I somehow got to standing beside them right so I (like the twat I am) forgot to bring something for them to sign so I asked Louis to sign my hip and then he did *dances* *cries* *indescribable emotion* and I moved onto Niall just to get out of the way like a civilized person right? WRONG! (Sort of, I don't know.) So in the middle of Niall signing my torso, this 15 year old girl shoves me to the side and right goes "Hey Niall can you sign my breast?" WHO? WHO EVEN ASKS THAT KIND OF QUESTION I MEAN WHAT EVEN? HOW DO YOU? WHERE WAS YOUR MOM EVEN? IN THE CAR BC YOU'RE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE LIKE?? Correct me if I'm wrong but do you feel my pain? Needless to say, I spent about 3 hours crying my eyes out at home but that's okay bc I got 2/5 of One Direction to touch my lower torso and that's more than half this fandom so can I get a holla?
[holla!]
I can feel the presence of some pretentious crowd just boo'ing at me.
If you've never seen it, I highly recommend watching Paint's video "After Ever After" bc I love him and he's attractive and sigh men give me heart ache.
Speaking of heart ache go befriend my friend Amber who gave me "heart burn" as she calls it. BE FREE YOUNG LOVEr! YOU'RE HOT NEIGHBOR WILL SOON BE YOURS AND NOT THE EVIL MACKENZIE'S!
Guys, I want you to tell me about your love life *cough* *couch* Selena :-) is :-) having :-) good :-) times :-) with :-) men :-) *cough* *cough*
I'm having withdrawal.
It's 3:23 a.m.
This reminds me of a song. I feel a musical number abroad this lovely ship with which is still sailing.
*Ed Sheeran voice*
And I haven't slept for the past week
And 2 hours ain't enough for me.
Feeling inspired at quarter 'til 3 a.m.
*voice arises from pretentious crowd I mentioned earlier*
No. Stop. No one likes you Scarlett.
You know what no one likes you pretentious voice so shut up.
I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos lately. Still not a fan of Danisnotonfire but I do quite like Tylerthecreator and Cassjaytuck (why thank you again, friends, for the wonderful requests.) sc2day is still hilarious with "what one direction is really thinking" oops.
I enjoy Burn Notice but not quite as much as I like NCIS.
Do you have a vine? Cool, me neither. But Jerome Jarre is pretty funny so go check him out.
Who is Maxwell?
Whoismaxwell
I know I (think) have said before that I don't like Taylor Swift but I know there really is nothing to dislike about her, unless you don't like her music. I found people who still hate her for anything else immature, irrelevant, and a twat. I didn't like the idea of her dating Harry bc I knew what would come out of it - a horrible break up song like We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together (I hate that song so much it's not even funny), but I had no other valid reasons. I do like Trouble I think it's called and Red and all those songs, and I do like that she's done so much to help the environment (add in that she's not all too shifty at writing songs either), but I seriously don't think we should hate anyone based solely off of who they date. We all know what she "said" about Niall, okay and I understand that and yes I realize too that it was a bitchy move but in reality what was it? Her disliking someone. We all dislike people. I dislike that little BITCH that shoved me and took Niall so he could touch her breasts and I have said many bad things about her but I'm pretty sure we all learn from out mistakes, right? I also know she's dated like more people than I can count with both my fingers and toes but she's 23. She can do what she wants bc she's trying to find the one. Can we all admit that if we looked like a fricking model like Taylor Swift that we'd ALWAYS be on the prowl for new men? I would. I'd always be on the market. So can we please all just settle this because the relationship is over now and has been for about 6 months and we can all just agree that Larry is real oops.
I'm so tired so I'm gonna go now bye fellas.
