And the post-vacation depression settles in.
I WANT BACK IN NEW YORK AND I WANT BACK RIGHT NOW.
Someone hold me.
I could cry but there's this lady next to me and she's giving me the evil eye and I feel like if I cry she'll get all bitchy and huff off.
Huff off.
Hufflepuff.
Bleh Bleh Bleh.
There's this kid behind me who doesn't know how it feels to constantly get kicked in the back but seriously I wonder how this little shit would like it if I just...
I've never hit a child.
UP IN THE CLUB JUST BROKE UP AND IM DOING MY OWN LITTLE THANG.
Beyonce Knowles. My idol.
I AM SO BORED.
Is it possible to flop around helplessly on a plane?
Yes.
Is it possible to do so without getting yelled at?
No.
Apparently 19 year old Aussies who have absolutely no social life whatsoever are not supposed to act like emotionally stunted overgrown shitbabies but I was never told this so jokes on you.
Bowel movement.
I like Danish people.
Danish people have the best accents but no one ever wants to know about Danish people because Denmark is such a small country but seriously Denmark (Danmark) has got to be the coolest place you could ever visit but everyone wants to visit Aussie country but it's not like there's anything down here it's just lots of bugs and weird animals that like to creep up on you at the worst times. Remember that time I saw a wild dog out my window? Yeah, there's a lot of that going on.
I feel like I should be talking about current news forecasts in my 'innuendos' but seriously who cares about the news?
I'm obviously way more entertaining.
I like food.
Aren't I fabulous?
Slumber party at my place tonight everyone. Bring food and leave.
I am a terrible person.
I was in a cab the other day and we drove passed a Panera and I saw this chick I knew from high school and I didn't know she was vacationing here too so I made the driver stop and I got out and I only paid him like 3 American dollars and I felt really bad but my friend and I ended up talking for like 3 hours and I found out she's off to NYU and I'm really excited for her.
Panera is a word and I don't know why my laptop insists on telling me it is not because it is so fuck you.
Cry me a river then drown in it.
Mwahahaa what a turn of events. You thought I was gonna say build a bridge and get over it but I don't want you to survive. Die or I will eat you and your family while What Makes You Haha plays in the background and Cole Sprouse applauds slowly behind me while the words "it was all a social experiment" echoes throughout the small dark room alongside your screams. I bet your bones are all mushy. Not crunchy. Mushy. Like pudding.
Just kidding, I don't eat people. I eat food. People are friends, not food.
Haha see what I did there? It was an allusion.
Not an illusion. That's a cooler thing.
But an allusion back to the movie Finding Nemo.
"Sucks to suck"
"Suck what?"
My dick. Thanks Allie for your amazing word play. I will forever be in emotional debt to you for making giving me this I will use this forever.
Yo.
Where art thou Romeo?
Back in Australia and his name is Joe not Romeo you pretentious douchebag.
Whoops I've said too much already.
I bet you didn't know I left Kanye West with Joe. Maybe you did but I get you didn't.
IT'S MY PARTY DANCE IF I WANT TO WE CAN GET CRAZY LET IT ALL OUT.
I don't know. I really want to see the Croods but at the same time I don't because I am really afraid I will be brutally disappointed and I don't do well with disappointment.
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
I feel like this is a good place to end this so yeah Good bye my little hamlets.
