Forgotten One (#2 of the Lost One series)

Chapter Two

After everyone had left last night I called my dad and explained what happened about the window.  He was more concerned about me than the window which made me smile.  He also thought that it was a great idea to go on a vacation with all my friends.  He knew that I was still upset about Damian so I wasn't surprised when he agreed to let me go.  He knew that this would be good for me and hopefully I could finally put my feelings for Damian aside.

Right now I was packing my bags for the vacation to Michigan.  I was really excited about this!  I haven't been on a vacation since my mom died.  She always loved driving and being able to see as much of the world as she could.  She liked to create memories even if they weren't worth remembering.  

I sighed as I placed my bathing suit into the black suitcase.  Markus said that it was going to be just the right temperature for swimming.  I personally thought he just wanted to see me in a bikini.  I laughed at the thought and zipped up my suitcase.  We were supposed to leave tomorrow morning around six.  We hoped to arrive at the lake house at around three in the afternoon then we could unpack and I would probably take a nap.

I placed my suitcase by the front door and went back to my room.  I grabbed my iPod and headphones then went outside.  The heat with the humidity did not mix well.  The moist air made me feel really uncomfortable and tired.  I put my hair in a messy bun and headed to my car.  

I absolutely adored this car.  I used it as often as I could.  I admit it was hard to accept the car from Autumn but eventually it grew on me.  It definitely made my trip to work much shorter.  I still liked to walk to work when it was nice outside but not having to walk all the time was reassuring.  

I started the car and drove down the road.  The trees were a light shade of green that made the forest look alive rather than all those dead leaves of winter.  I liked the trees more when they had leaves on them.  It made it easier to get lost.  I liked to get lost because eventually you have to find something.

I drove to the edge of town where all the stores and shopping centers were.  All the stores made me think about my job at the cafe.  My boss gave me three weeks this summer because he thought I didn't get out much.  This was the first time I would actually be doing something like this.  

I parked my black jeep crossover and walked towards all the shops.  Among the stores was a small barber shop that I got my hair cut at.  I wanted a new haircut.  I felt that the way I looked was only a reminder of the past so I wanted to change it.  I didn't want to change everything so I just decided to get a hair cut.  

My hair was really long so I was in need of a hair cut.  My auburn hair stopped at my upper hip.  Honestly depending on lighting my hair could be mistaken for brown but when it was in the sun it was almost an unnatural orange.  This was the same hairstyle I had when I was with Damian so I really wanted a change.  I don't know why I wanted to do it, but it seemed like a step in the right direction.  

I walked into the salon and was greeted by the friendly smile of the lady who owned it.  She was a really nice woman and did an amazing job at cutting people's hair.  I couldn't remember her name but I do know that she didn't like to talk much when she was giving you a hair cut.  She claimed talking made her mess up especially when you were telling boring stories.

"Hello," she said with her kind smile.  Her aged face had lots of laugh lines and her short body made her look adorable.  She had short brown hair that cupped her small face nicely. 

"Good afternoon," I said returning the smile.

I explained that I wanted my hair cut to my shoulder but still long enough to put in a ponytail.  She nodded and sat me down in one of the chairs almost immediately.

I stared at myself in the mirror as she went to get supplies.  My blue eyes looked sad and my rosy cheeks weren't as bright as they used to be.  My lips were the same pink that they had always been but they sat in a small frown that seemed permanent.  I didn't like that I didn't look as happy as I used to.  It annoyed me that one person could have such a big impact on my emotions.  I didn't want to forget about the times we had together but I didn't want to have the feelings that belonged to them.  It was a complicated cycle but it was one I was just going to have to get used to for the time being.  From now on I promise to myself that I can be happy without him.  He shouldn't have control over my emotions and I won't let him.  But one thing that I found curious was that I missed him so much.

The lady began to brush my hair and then in one cut my hair was starting to change.  I smiled at the thought of change.  I know most people didn't like change but I was going to welcome it for once.  I needed change in my life more than ever.  If it meant changing my looks then that's what I'll do.  

I won't let my memories change about Damian.  My memories were the greatest thing I had, even if they all weren't nice.  I needed these memories so I could always remember the good things that life had to offer.  Not everyone wears a disguise like he did and I knew that.  I had let him in and I knew the consequences.  My eyes widened as I realized something.

I wasn't mad at him anymore.

This whole time I thought I was consumed with rage but it wasn't that.  I think I was mad at myself.  I had let him in and then I was hurt.  I knew that this would happen but I didn't care.  I needed this pain in my life.  Without it I would be numb and have no feeling towards him.  If I had felt nothing when I found out about him that would have meant I had no feelings towards him at all.  Life was painful but now I realize that you have to go through hell to get to heaven.

"All done," I heard a distant voice say from outside my thoughts.

I looked in the mirror and loved what I saw.  It was exactly what I wanted.  Bangs covered my forehead and huge chunks of my hair laid on the floor in a heaping pile.  My hair now stopped at my breasts and I really liked the way she had shaped it.  I had lots of layers and my natural aburn hair still looked as good as it did when it was long.

I paid for the haircut and went home.  I went into my room and stared at the ceiling while music played in the background.  I smiled at nothing as I recalled the conversation I had in my head in the salon.  It felt nice to figure out my feelings on my own.  

Memories of my time with Damian played in my head from our first kiss to when we found Noodle. I wonder what happened to him.  I smiled at everything about him.  I remembered the night when he left me on the ground crying...  again I smiled.  If I ever saw him again I would confront him about what happened that night and probably slap him, but until then I had no reason to think about it.  I put these beautiful moments deep inside my mind so that one day I could look back on them and remember the way he made me feel.

I was still sad but at least now my memories couldn't control me and that was the best thing I could have.