Hello! I'm back with another chapter! I hope you like it!
-Ma'Kaya Lee Grace.
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I cringe slightly at how girly I sound. Who panics over what their going to wear on a date? Not Grace! It's not even a date really. Right? There a small, tiny spark that's there, but we'll probably just be friends.
I change into my school uniform and go sit on my balcony to have a smoke.
I cover my face with the backs of my hands, cigarette still in hand, and exhale slowly and loudly. It's a nice Friday morning and mine is already ruined by boys troubles.
Erg, I...don't know what I need.
My hand twitches towards my pack of cigarettes and my brain tells me I shouldn't, but the veins coursing in my blood are dying of withdrawal. I pull out another as I'm finishing the first and reach for my lighter.
"You sure that's a good idea?" The sound of my brother opening the balcony door causes me to drop my lighter on my lap.
"God, you scared me." I light up the end and pass him the pack.
"I know you smoke. I've known since that night." He shuns the pack and smiles.
"I stopped that night. I've convinced myself me smoking was the cause. Bad Karma." He looks at my eyes and frowns. He probably notices the bags under my eyes.
"You've been sleeping less and less lately. Does the nightmare keep coming back?"
"Yeah, Not today though. I actually didn't have a dream. "Do you sleep anymore, Ashwin?"
"Sometimes. It's easier when Jocelyn is here. I rememer one night I camped outside your bedroom door." He leans forward in his chair and holds his head in his hands. "...I went to the drug store this morning and got you some sleeping pills. I can't go to sleep knowing that my little sister is afraid of falling asleep because she will see a reality that she is not in control of."
"You didn't-" The fact that I'm refusing help makes me want to punch myself in the face. I should be happy that he cares about me and was willing to take care of me while he was working long hours. I owe my life to him and should accept his gestures.
"Thank You."
"Oh, it's no big deal."
"Not just for the pills, for everything." I grab his hand squeeze it tight before letting go.
"You're Welcome." He rises and grabs the balcony door handle.
"I'm off to work. Have a nice day."
"I'm going to the carnival tonight so I might be home late."
"A date?"
"No...Just with a friend." Technically that's not a lie.
"Okay. Try not to be home too late." I walk in after him into my bedroom and sigh.
"See you later."
I decide on wearing a simple pink blouse and some jeans with my army coat. A little necklace and lip gloss will make it less casual, right? I set aside the outfit for later and check the time again. Crap, i'm already late for school. I run downstairs and grab an apple for later. My brother smirks and holds out my bag for me.
"Brush your teeth?" He asks. I hate it when he does that because he's always right! I can't go to school with ciggy breath can I? I run back upstairs, taking two steps at a time, and quickly brush my teeth before I figuratively leap off the stairwell landing like Batman to the kitchen.
