A Comedians Guide To Ruling The World

How to be a man

There are a few rules that every man of every nationality can universally abide by:

1. A real man likes his steak like he likes his women. Breathing.

2. A real man is never afraid to take the last beer or slice of pizza. Just not both. Common. That's just mean.

3. A real man can open a jar when the situation demands it.

4. A real man denies salad. They don't eat the food their food eats.

5. Contrary to popular belief, it is expectable to wear flip flops. As long as they don't let the back of the flop hit their heel as they walk. That's something sluts do to get attention.

6. Real men don't order girly drinks. Unless it's free.

7. Real men don't watch Sex And The City. No one should watch Sex And The City. Ever.

8. Real men don't cry after watching a kids movie. The only exception is Toy Story 3.

9. Real men answer all questions with another question.

10. Real men don't brag about being manly. Your just annoying. Shut up.