Love is stronger than rage (Loki fanfic)

at the orphanage 1

They brought me to the orphanage when I was three years old. After the war with the frost giants from Jotunheim, there were many of us. The orphanages were full.

The headmistress, Madame Susex, a French governess, made sure order was maintained in this particular orphanage I had come to stay in. She was a tall, thin lady with ashen skin. The whites of her pupils were yellow due to an illness she suffered, all of which made her gruesome to look at and enhanced the fear she instilled in us.

I used to be wild and boisterous, having had three years of overflowing love. My parents had been a carefree couple, very much in love with each other and with their child—me. But that was gone now, and soon under the strict rules of Madame, I quieted down. I was but a shadow of myself, trying to behave in such a way that I would not draw too much attention to myself. This was hard, as every so often the wildness resurfaced, and again and again, I would end up in Madame's office.

Our day consisted of a very strict routine, and those who did not comply with the rules were isolated and kept in solitary confinement. The length of this punishment was determined by the severity of our trespasses. Somehow, I often ended up in this unfortunate situation, but I was gifted with a broad and colorful imagination, so I dreamed the long hours away on a vast open countryside or in a sailing boat, riding the waves of a rough sea with a gang of pirates.

I was nearly five years old when Odin, the King of Asgard, came to pay a visit to the orphanage. We sang a song, and he gave a speech about how much he knew we had suffered and that he intended to look after us well. During the ceremony, we had to be quiet. There were more than two hundred children, and yet one could hear not a word spoken; all feared Madame.

At the end of Odin's visit, a couple of us were to give him flowers. I was one of them. When it was my turn, I made a small curtsy and smiled my sweetest smile, but I avoided looking at him directly, for Madame had given strict orders that we were not to look at him, as it was rude and disrespectful. After Odin took my flowers, he said, "Child, look at me." For a moment, I wavered, but I figured that the All-Father's authority was greater than Madame's, and I dared not look away. He examined me for what seemed like a very long time, then he smiled at me, and I was allowed to go back to my place.

Later, I was cleaning the bathroom together with two other girls when one of the sisters who assisted Madame came in. I liked this one; secretly, we were allowed to call her Noemi. "Ariana, the Madame wants to see you," she informed me. Frantically, I tried to think of something I could have possibly done wrong. Did she not like that I looked at the All-Father? I had no choice—he had asked me, and I had to obey him.

Noemi took my hand and led me to Madame's office. She knocked, and I entered. I was relieved to see I was not alone with Madame. A very fine-looking gentleman was watching me with kind, well-meaning eyes. Madame's eyes were on me too, but her eyes were not at all well-meaning.

"It appears that you have pleased the All-Father," she said, tight-lipped. "He wishes for you to move to the palace." I simply stared at her, unable to make sense of what she had just told me. "It is extremely rude to stare," she continued, her eyes flashing like lightning bolts. For some reason, Madame always seemed to dislike me the most, and I had come to believe it was maybe because I was not likable. So the fact that Odin, the All-Father, wanted me—me, of all children—was incomprehensible.

I had to gather my belongings, which consisted merely of a piece of clothing that had once belonged to my mother and which Noemi had returned to me after Madame had confiscated it. I had to keep it hidden at all times; otherwise, there was only my orphanage clothes and my wash set.

The fine gentleman took my hand and led me out of the orphanage. Noemi kissed me goodbye with tears in her eyes, but she looked happy—happy for my sake. I wanted to run to her, a little afraid of the new turn my life had taken, but I was also glad to be free of Madame. Many children had gathered by the windows, and a few waved at me.

I arrived in a fine carriage at the palace. Still feeling dazed, I climbed out and found myself facing a very kind and beautiful woman.

"Dear child, I am Frigga, Odin's wife. I am very pleased to welcome you into our home." She gave me a hug, and a wonderful smell of roses engulfed me.

I had been drilled not to speak to adults, so I only nodded timidly. I did not want to make her angry.

Suddenly, I noticed a boy hiding behind a tree. He was only visible for a brief moment, but I wasn’t the only one who saw him; Frigga had noticed him too. "Loki, do come out, please, and welcome your new sister," she commanded in a friendly sort of way.

Reluctantly, the boy called Loki emerged from behind the tree. He was skinny, with black hair, green eyes, and a sulky expression. He stood in front of me, looking me over haughtily. He made a small bow and then ran off. "Excuse Loki," Frigga said. "He had a difficult time with his older brother Thor earlier on."

Then she showed me around the palace. It was all so very grand and unbelievable. I was assigned a very grand room too. In a voice that was more of a whisper, and with a small courtesy, I thanked Frigga the way we had learned at the orphanage.

When it was time to go to sleep, I sat on my bed, which was covered in satin cushions and soft toys of all sorts. I took out my mother's old tunic and held it close to my heart. I whispered, "Mother, Father? I think I am a princess now." But I could not quite comprehend it. With wide eyes, I stared into the semi-darkness as the night surrounded me. I was much too excited and unsure to sleep.

As I sat in the dark, my door opened slightly, and a small boy came in. It was Loki. He came closer and stared at me. After a while, a grin appeared on his face. "I'm Loki," he said. I knew this, of course, so I simply nodded. "Come with me," he added, heading for the door. Unsure of what to do, I hid my mother’s tunic under one of the pillows and followed Loki.

He led me up a winding staircase until we reached a door that opened into a room filled with strange objects I had never seen before, including a very large telescope. But Loki did not stop here. He pulled a chair close to a window in the roof, pushed open the window, and disappeared into the night.

A few moments later, his head appeared in the opening. "Are you coming?" He helped me climb onto the roof. As soon as I was out there, I could see a magnificent night sky. In awe, I absorbed the beauty and vastness of the universe.

"Do you like it?" Loki asked, and then, without waiting for a reply, he continued, "I come here when I need to get away." He lay down on the roof tiles. I followed suit. It was good to be here; I felt closer to my mother and father, and being with Loki was nice—it felt as if he were my friend. At the orphanage, I had had a few friends, but there was never much time to get close to anyone.

After what seemed like a long time, Loki got up. "Tomorrow I will show you more," he said excitedly. I smiled at him, a real, genuine smile.

Upon returning to my room, I realized how tired I was. As soon as Loki left, I fell asleep with warm anticipation for the coming days.