Love is stronger than rage (Loki fanfic)

embrasing the truth 21

The time flew by, as we whispered in the darkness, about us and about the past. We giggled remembering small insignificant events which brought back the innocence of the days gone. Much later I reached up to feel if the texture of his skin had changed back to the usual smooth asgardian skin, but the unevenness of the frost giant was still there. I gently traced my finger over the unusual skin formation. 

Loki flinched and jerked away. "What are you doing," he said his voice full of mistrust. "Please, trust me," was all I said. I was very much aware that this was a delicate moment, I knew from my visions that he felt appalled and deeply disliked the fact that he was indeed a frost giant. "I hate it," He snapped. "I know," I whispered, almost scared of how he would react. I could hear him getting to his feet. "How do you know?" he hissed. "I felt it!" and then I told him about my visions, about each one of them I had had. I could sense him staring down at me in the darkness. "You know my thoughts and my feeling," he then pressed out. "They are private! Get out!" He didn't seem to be overly angry, tho, just unsure maybe, embarrased? Perhaps he needed to make peace with this first, so I decided to leave him be until later, to give him some time to think this through. I felt my way back to the wall of his cell. As I reached the back wall were I could get out, I whispered into the darkness, loud enough for him to hear. "I Love you, respect you and accept you no matter who you are or what." With that, I left his cell and made my way back to my room. 

Lying awake for some time I recalled all that had happened. All in all, it had been a wondrous night, I especially loved the way we had been so close. Thinking about this gave me goosebumps and left me somehow wanting more. Even the fact that he knew about my visions was a good thing. Although I was a little unsure how things would develop from here, I was sure our love was strong enough to deal with this minority. At least for me Loki being a frost giant was a minority, but for Loki it was a big issue.

I overslept the next morning, naturally. I run to reach the breakfast table on time. After breakfast I was about to leave to find Loki, when Odin called me back.  He waited until everybody had left the room, then he spoke. "Arianna, I suppose now that Loki has remembered we ought to talk about the future." My knees buckled and my heart beat fast. Yes, this was certainly something I wanted to talk about. "What do you presume should be the next possible way forward? Sadly I have to say, that I don't think it wise to let Loki go free. He is after all, a frost giant and he struggles with an uncontrollable rage." Odin's face was full of regret and pity. I knelled down. "Father," I particularly addressed him this way as I knew how much he appreciated us calling him that. "While I stayed on Valtakuntaun, I found out about Loki being a frost Giant...." I told him about my visions and about my stay with the frost giants. How they were peaceful and willing to help me. I also informed him about the heart stone. 

Afterwards, Odin studied me for a while, if he was surprised he didn't show it. "How did Loki feel about the heart stone?" He finally asked. "I haven't had the chance to tell him about this," I regretfully had to admit. We decided that Loki needed to know about my experiences with his kind and about the heart stone first before anything else could came to place. 

I didn't enter Loki's cell for I was not sure if he wanted me too. Through the glass, he stared at me. "You make me feel vulnerable and I'm not sure if I like it," he eventually said, trying to keep his voice free of emotions. "Please know that I never intended to see what I saw," I said imploringly. "No, I think I might have called you unknowingly," he said. I didn't really understand what he meant with that but I didn't press any further. "May I come in?" I asked him. He only nodded. 

It was awkward at first, being so close together after last nights events, in the light it made me feel shy almost. "Loki there is something we need to discuss," I started and told him about my visit to the frost giants and about the heart stone. Loki started to walk around, I was unsure of what else to say so I waited until he finally stopped. "So if I place the heart stone into it's rightful place I will be able to control the rage?" He asked me. I nodded. "It will be safe to be with me then," he said more to himself than to me. " I will try it, now!" he said resolutely. "But you will have to take on your frost giant form in order to place the heart stone," I cautioned him. He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm ready to face what I am," he said but his voice quavered, "are you, I will be a monster, surely I shall disgust you." I shook my head. "Seriously Loki, I've seen it already and you've got to start giving your kind credit, after all, the evil that has been caused, the "monsters" that we have grown up with, are simply a few frost giants refusing to or being forced to live without  their heart stones." But then again this was easy for me to say I had experienced the peaceful and even loving kind of "HIS KIND".

I left and gathered Loki's heart stone- When I returned I passed the softly pulsating heart stone to Loki. Loki took the heart stone in a solemn way almost scared. As soon as it lay in his hand, he looked at me utterly surprised. "I can feel it!" Was the only thing he said. Then he changed into his frost giant form. While he changed he studied me. Perhaps he wanted to see my reaction, perhaps he wanted to see if I would be discussed but I had seen so many frost giants before including his shape,even if it had only been for a short time, so really I was not overly impressed by the change. Although I had to admit it when he towered over me, three heads taller, it was somehow intimidating, after all, this was my Loki who normally was about the same size as me, but he was a very handsome frost giant, I thought and having such a powerful, strong man, harbored also a certain attractiveness.

As soon as the transformation had fully taken place, he passed the heart stone back to me. "Please place it into the right place?" Loki asked me. Gently I placed Loki's heart stone into the small gap made for it. It was a very moving moment. At first, nothing happened but then whilst he looked at me, silent tears started to run down his face. "The regret and the compassion I suddenly feel for those I have caused harm, due to my inability to control the rage, is almost so strong I can hardly bear it." He revealed to me. "That may very well be so," I said. "But you have still a future and why not use that to slowly rectify what you have done?" He nodded slowly. "I feel like I am a person once again and not a monster with all but one feeling, the feeling of rage...Thank you...thank you." He came over to me cupped my face in his hands, closed his eyes and gently kissed me.