Love is stronger than rage (Loki fanfic)

lowest point 18

Loki was alive, thank goodness. He seemed flattened nevertheless and stunned. I bend over him, concerned. I laid my hand gently against his head: "Loki, are you alright?" This was rather an unnecessary question as he couldn't possibly be alright but I didn't know what else to say. For a split second, he allowed the touch, starring at me. Then he jerked his head away. "You," his voice sounded weak," who are you? What is it about you? How come your image haunts me?" It seemed as if he wanted to look right into me and there was a searching and such a deep loneliness in his gaze it tore my heart apart. 

Suddenly Thor was back. He grabbed Loki by his throat and dragged him to the window. I followed them. "What is happening," Thor growled at Loki. Loki stared at the scene that was developing outside. The machine he had brought with him earlier on was producing a gigantic blue light beam that shot up straight into the heavens. The sky itself seemed to open into a black hole. Loki gasped and his hand shot in front of his mouth, it was almost as if he suddenly remembered. "What have I done..." he half whispered. Then suddenly he turned around and faced me: "You, you betrayed me!" There were such loathing and accusation in his voice. 

"No, I did it for you," I implored. I had feared this to happen ever since I had taken the staff of him or even before. What had my true intentions been? Did I protect him? It didn't seem that way anymore that was for sure. He glared at me and I could see the hurt written all over his face. 

But then our attention was drawn back to what was happening outside. Strange objects entered through the black hole that had opened in the sky. These turned out to be vehicles of some sort and they were manned by strange creatures too, who were definitive hostile. As soon as they neared the ground they started to attack. The avengers joined us and in no time, we were involved in a war. The Midgardian's had no chance really, they were running scared trying to avoid contact with the attackers and or were trying to avoid being buried by large debris falling from demolished buildings. We the avengers including Thor and I tried to protect the Midgardian's, as well as fight back. Loki managed to escape in the sudden chaos that had surrounded us so unexpectedly. 

After hours of fighting back and finally finding a way to destroy the machine that was opening the gateway to the other realm, we won. The war had left a vast amount of destruction and many Midgardian's had left their lives and others were hurt and needed tending too. Each of us was exhausted and suffered small injuries, but thankfully all of us were alive and had no serious injuries.

 A subdued atmosphere was bearing on us as we watched from Stark-tower that was overlooking the entire city. Nobody talked. 

Suddenly I had a vision. 

What have I done, what have I done, how can I face myself or anybody ever again, or her? That woman, that strangely familiar woman? She has betrayed me, but then again maybe it would have been even worse if she hadn't. I rock while I try to block out the images I had seen watching the fighting. I had stood there watching, doing nothing because I couldn't, I was to shocked. I didn't mean for this to happen. Or did I? It  must have been that voice inside? Wasn't it?  

It had only been a small vision, but so very powerful. I still saw Loki's image as he is rocking back and forth. The strong wish not to exist was still very embedded in my heart. How could I ever bring joy back to his life? Will he ever be able to forgive himself for what he had done and live again? Personally, I don't know if I could. One good thing, though, he seemed to somehow remember me.

Stark left the common room to arrange something to eat for all of us. Suddenly we could hear battle noises. Alarmed we looked at each other. Did we miss something? We all hurried to where the fighting was coming from. It was Loki and Stark. Stark must have found Loki and he had probably not been very sensitive, triggering Loki's rage. 

The battle was not very long. Most of the Avengers joined in securing Loki, Most certainly I didn't join! He already felt betrayed by me, no I made sure I stayed out of sight. But again I felt like betraying him. Maybe I should have tried to defend him? But to what end, that he would go off and carry on as he had done so far. No, as much as he must have hated me right at that moment I did believe he would be better of being secured, for his own good. But then again... I was so torn what was the right thing to do?  

Bound he stood then pretending not to care, but from my vision, I had just now experienced, I knew he was in a bad stage. From my hiding point of view, I saw him walking off surrounded by guards with his hands in cuffs and cuffed around his neck too, seeing him degraded like that I couldn't cope with it anymore. I followed them in a close conduct but out of sight. As soon as I was sure there were only the guards Loki and me in the passage, I attacked. Since I had the surprise factor on my side and because I moved so fast I managed to render the guards unconscious, without causing them to be majorly injured. Then I dragged Loki with me down the passage. I thought this would be what he wanted but he actually fought against the escape as far as he was able, being so heavily cuffed. Eventually, I stopped I looked at him in surprise and desperation. "Isn't this what you want, escape?"I asked him. His face displayed many emotions there was definitive thankfulness among uncertainty and dissolution. "You would have given it all up, your good ways, your reputation, for me?" He asked. "Anything," I said with determination, "anything for you!" He starred at me unbelieving.

"Arianna. surrender," I heard Steve's voice behind me, his voice was gentle but stern. I lifted my hands and turned around. "I surrender," I said, I wasn't a villain whatsoever I just wanted to proof to Loki that I would do anything for him. I was glad we had been caught. Now we could maybe find a way to peacefully solve this and yet I had proven to Loki that I was on his side.