Sacrifice // r5

Anniversaries and Awkward Confortations

Chapter 3

Sara's POV

Today is the day. The day that makes everyone feel sorry for Amanda and I. It's the anniversary of our parent's death. I don't want people to feel sorry for us anymore. I had had enough pity the first week of their death. I woke up this morning and tried to act as happy as I could, but it was hard. Ross came to the house around 9 o'clock. He knew how upset I was even though I went through my regular morning routine of fixing breakfast and helping Lyra get ready. I could see pity in Ross' eyes, but I knew that it was only because he cared for me and didn't like seeing me upset. Ross had been spending a lot of time at the house lately. He came early in the morning and left late at night. It's almost as if we are living together; he waits until I fall asleep to leave.

"What are you thinking, baby?"

I looked up at Ross and smiled. "Just thinking about how lucky I am to have someone like you by my side." He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Sara! Are you ready to go?" Amanda yelled as she, Owen, and Link came running down the steps. Amanda was dressed in a pair of jeans, vans, and a purple sweater. I was dressed in a jean skirt, converse, and a white shirt. We are heading to our parent's grave. We don't like to dress in black, because it is too depressing.

"Yeah, we are ready to go." We all walked out of the house and into our separate cars. Amanda met Rhett at his as he pulled into the driveway. Amanda and Rhett rode together, Owen and Link rode together, and Ross, Lyra, and I rode together.

It took about ten minutes to get to the graveyard. We all stepped out of our cars and headed toward the gravestones. We weren't even halfway there when tears started falling from my eyes. Ross hugged my shoulder as we walked to give me comfort. When we made it to the grave stone I decided to speak first.

"Mom and dad, we are doing okay. I'm doing okay and so is Lyra. I've got Ross here and Amanda. We are okay, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss you. It's still hard. I remember running into the kitchen as fast as I could so I could help you with breakfast. I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry." I was now on my knees balling. Everyone else was crying too. Even the ones that had never met them. I still couldn't forgive myself for telling my parents that I hated them. I didn't mean it. Amanda spoke many words at her parents grave, crying like I was, then Owen, then Lyra. After we all got done with what we had to say, we said our goodbyes and walked back to our cars. I stayed behind for a few seconds. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. Ross stopped and turned around when he noticed that I wasn't with him.

"Are you coming?"

I looked at my parent's grave and smiled. "Yeah, I'm coming." I looked back one more time and I felt something this time. I knew it was my parents. It felt good. Like they were really here. "I love you guys." I walked over to Ross and took his hand.

"Are you okay?"

I looked at him and smiled. "I will be."

Amanda's POV

Visiting my parent's grave devastated me. Luckily, Owen didn't bring up what I told him last night again and to make it worse. I tossed and turned all night thinking about my parents and what I told Owen. I told him everything last night. About Jace, Ross, and Riker and even about Rhett. I confided in him like I never had before. I had never told anyone except Sara and Mr. Stone about my feelings about the men in my life. But with Mr. Stone I didn't tell him about the way their touches and kisses made me felt. Owen sat there awkwardly, but listened to me quietly. It really must be weird for him.

When we got home I walked up the stairs and slammed the door the behind me. Tears ran down my face as I worked on my essay for college that was due in three days. I couldn't focus on the book that the essay was on and threw the book across the room. The book hit the wall, opening to a random page, making me cry harder. I sat there holding my knees. Sobs racked my body as I started to scream. I was screaming for no reason, but Sara, Rhett, and Owen ran into my room in fear. Thoughts ran through my head and I started to cry again as I looked at Owen. Good thing I didn't put makeup on this morning.

"Amanda," he whispered as he sat beside me.

"I can't do this anymore! I miss them and I miss him..." I said whispering the last part. "I want them here." I hoped that Rhett didn't hear what I said, but I was too scared and sad to care.

"Amanda you have to calm down. It's hard for all of us, but we aren't screaming!" Sara said. I looked at her and she knew my feelings were hurt. She sat beside me and I whispered in her ear.

"I need him, Sara," I said, barely audible. She knew who I was talking about and she sighed. She knew that it would hurt Rhett if he knew, so she sent him away. Minutes later I spoke. "I have to go," I said, standing. My demeanor changed as I went to my makeup and put on a little to cover the red spots. I left the house and got in my car. I turned up the radio and started to sing loudly. I reached the jail soon enough and I practically ran in. All the procedures couldn't go by more slowly as I reached the call booth. I looked at a prison guard and asked a stupid question.

"Can I see him face to face?" She nodded and guided me to a room that was empty. I sat in the chair and waited for him. I waited for minutes and finally the blonde came into the room and sat in the chair across from me. Two prison guards stood at the door. He looked at me with sad eyes. He looked so tired, worn. He had been through hell and back.

"Amanda..." he sighed. "Why are you here?" His voice was rough. He looked as if he didn't want me here and it made me sad.

"I came to see you, Riker," I said, confused. His normally clean and shiny hair covered his eyes; it had gotten a lot longer since he had been in here.

"You're the only one," he mumbled. "Not even my family comes to visit me." I didn't understand. We were silent for minutes and I realized he was cold, mean even. He hadn't changed in here. "I miss you," he whispered. Butterflies were in my stomach as he talked. His handcuffed hands laid on top of the table. "I think about you all the time, your touch, your smile."

"I miss you too Riker, God how I miss you," I said. It was silent again, but he had changed. He was confusing me.

"I need you, Amanda," he said. "I'm so sorry for what I did, so sorry."

"I know." As much as I missed him and wanted to kiss him, I wasn't ruining another relationship.

"Please visit me more often, please," he said. "You've only visited me twice."

"My brother won't let me," I said. He looked at me confused, but I didn't catch him up. I sat there quietly. "What will happen to us when you get out?"

He thought for a minute and smiled. "How are you and Rhett? A couple?" I nodded awkwardly. "Yeah... Why are you here if you have a boyfriend? Does he know you're here?"

"No and I don't know, Riker," I said before the guard told us time was up. I walked around the table and hugged him tightly, kissing him on the cheek as a tear fell from my eye. I let go and he brought his hands to my face, drying the tear.

"I'll see you later, babe," he said kissing my forehead. As he was pushed through the door I yelled at him.

"Riker!" He turned towards me. "I love you." He smiled at me as a tear fell from his eyes.

"I never stopped loving you," he said as they pushed him out of my sight. I started to walk out and I grabbed my things, walking out of the jailhouse. I drove home in silence as I remembered his hand on my cheek. I felt his hand there faintly as I drove. He looked horrible, but still the handsome Riker I knew and loved. I missed him so much. If only the rest of the year could hurry up. I wanted to lay with him. When I got home everyone was on the couches, including Ross and Ratliff.

"Why are you here?" I asked. They all stared at me.

"Did you know that my parents are called when he is visited?" Ross asked. My brother looked at me angrily.

"Amanda why did you go and see him?" he asked.

"Yeah Amanda, why'd ya go and see him?" Rhett asked, walking in from the kitchen.