A Sky Without Stars

Part 12-July

Andrew and Castor eventually returned, and I began talking to both of them immediately. It had been strange to live without talking to them for so long, and their return home was a welcomed one.

Surprisingly, I genuinely had missed Castor. Despite the pain I felt over him, he was still my friend, and I longed for our conversations. And Andrew's return served as relief to me as well, since he was virtually the only person who talked to me every day. The two of us jumped right back to where we'd been when he'd left. Andrew and I still chatted every single night, which I'll admit, was slightly exhausting. Usually, he had me staying up till nearly three o'clock in the morning, and I would wake up at ten. But I knew that I was helping him, so it didn't matter to me.

It was around this time, when the two of them returned, that Isaac made a very exciting suggestion. He asked me if I wanted to go out to eat with him sometime, just so we could talk and catch up.

I still wasn't completely comfortable with my feelings for Isaac, so I was initially hesitant. Of course, I knew that this wasn't an actual date, but I also knew what this would mean. Isaac and I would be out together, just us, alone. In public. And everyone around us would think we were dating.

Not that it was necessarily bad for them to think such a thing...in fact, it was quite reasonable. We would surely be laughing at inside jokes for the entire time and smiling, as we chowed down on cheeseburgers and milkshakes. Anyone who saw us would assume we were a happy couple, instead of just friends. But I knew that Isaac wouldn't think anything of our little outing, while I'd be thinking all too much.

It was going to be Castor all over again, I was certain of it. I had to stop any and all feelings for Isaac, and going on a date with him was not going to help matters.

Still, I missed hanging out with Isaac. The two of us were very close friends, after all. And I was positive that the feelings that were starting to creep into my heart were just a phase; they'd wear off in probably less than a month. So, I reluctantly agreed to go out to lunch with him that Wednesday to Steak 'n' Shake, a restaurant that was exactly halfway between our houses. I wanted to hate myself for agreeing, but I couldn't. I was far too excited to be getting together with him once again. And subconsciously, I noted that Castor never even invited me to hang out before or after school, let alone by ourselves during summer vacation.

I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, though. Something had to go wrong. Because Wednesday morning, I got a text from Isaac saying that he was sick and couldn't make it.

The disappointment was overwhelming, but I couldn't let him know that. If he was sick, it wasn't something he could help. And making Isaac feel bad was the last thing I wanted to do. So I told him it was alright, and that we would reschedule for another time. Everything would be fine. Probably.

A nagging voice inside my head told me that it was probably my fault: he'd cancelled because he just didn't want to go with me. Part of me almost believed that was true, but another part of me reasoned that, if that was the case, he wouldn't have invited me to lunch in the first place.

I was still grumpy, though, and it didn't help the next day when I had to get up at eight o'clock. Freddie and I were going to volunteer at a nearby homeless shelter for school service hours, and it was far too early for my liking. For some people, this wouldn't be so bad. But I usually woke up at eleven, so three less hours of sleep led to irritation on my part.

Mrs. Larson drove us both to the shelter and would be staying to help. Our car ride to the shelter was...eventful, and involved many puns, of course. Once we got there, we were required to clean up from the residents' breakfast. The three of us then began to set up trays, plates, napkins, etc. for lunch, which started at eleven fifteen. Essentially, as soon as one thing was out, and we thought we were done, they'd give us something else to set up. We eventually moved on to food items, and the whole lunch was set out before we knew it. Then we got to relax, while the residents gradually shuffled in, avoiding eye contact with us but possessing grateful smiles upon their faces. I mostly zoned out, because I was pretty tired.