A Sky Without Stars

Part 7-February

Ah, February. As soon as the clock struck midnight on February first, the world instantly turned pink. The smell of chocolates and candy wafted through the air as young couples wandered the streets, fingers intertwined. Everyone was buzzing with excitement, as the day I dreaded most approached rapidly.

I knew that I was doomed from the first heart decoration I saw on the Target shelves. As kids started to get a little braver with romance for a short period of time, I became extremely worried. I had tons of boy friends, and everyone seemed to think that I should be dating one of them. But that wasn't the part that scared me. What made me so anxious was that my girl friends might tell one of the guys---Castor, for example---that I liked him. And who knows what would happen after that point! Even if I did like a boy, I didn't particularly want people spreading rumors about me.

But whether I liked it or not, love was definitely in the air...even at a small school like St. Barnabas. Couples continued to branch off, day by day. I looked upon them, cringing with every awkward gaze and hug.

I was even standing at my locker one day after school when a senior girl came up to a boy and asked him to the Sweetheart's dance. I averted my gaze as they shared a kiss; something told me that they were probably dating beforehand. Quickly, I had grabbed my books and raced out to my awaiting mother, glaring at me as usual for being late.

The Sweetheart's dance was probably what I was looking forward to least, perhaps even less than Valentine's Day. I knew that I wasn't going to go, because the girl had to ask the guy (and let's face it: I would never have the guts to do that!). Before the dance even came up, though, I would have to get through Valentine's Day. And boy, I was not excited for that.

On the actual day of my demise, I woke up and rubbed my eyes grudgingly, then silenced the alarm blaring from my clock. I turned on my phone, but then shut it off quickly, because a pop-up ad for various Valentine's Day junk appeared on my home screen.

Everything at school was covered in pink streamers and cardboard-cutout hearts. Our math test from Mrs. Zora was even on pink paper, and it was a Valentine's Day problem. Love, love, love; that's all there was, unless you were single, but no one acknowledged those of us without a Valentine.

I hated the colors of Valentine's Day. Red and purple weren't so bad...but pink was so incredibly overused that I wanted to throw up. I mean, why pink? They should have chosen a more subtle color...like blue. Blue is the color of the ocean crashing upon you, drowning you in salty tears. Blue is the color of a bruised heart, which is what those of us who are single can't life without.

I sulked around all day, feeling sick to my stomach. I narrowed my eyes at nearly everything that breathed. By tenth period, I was feeling rather bitter towards the world. But my face lit up as I saw Castor, smiling brightly at me.

He stood up, and walked over nervously. One of his hands was in his pockets, like he was holding something inside. My heart began to suddenly start beating faster.

"Hey there, Pearl," he said, nervously. "I just wanted to tell you something."

I don't think I responded to him; I couldn't even breathe. Was he going to ask me to be his Valentine? Or was he going to ask me to Sweethearts, because he knew I would be too shy?

Not that I liked him, of course, but my heart thudded all the same.

Castor opened his mouth, then got a slightly embarrassed look on his face. He motioned for me to come closed, then whispered in my ear. "Um, I just wanted to tell you that...you're bleeding."