marked.

Scrambled Thoughts

I waited until 8AM in the morning to come out of my little hellhole of a bedroom. Both my mother and I agreed on that I would skip day school today but go to the detention later. With my mother being a worrywart, she is always concerned about my mental and physical well-being. I planted my butt on our overstuffed, light grey couch. I decided to take the next eight hours on watching reruns of Criminal Minds. I wore white plaid pants, a white tank top, my nude-colored slippers, and my mother's white bandana. I kept my long hair in a messy bun, just to keep it off my face. The light from the balcony shine brightly on my skin, making the pale tone become even more white. I rolled my eyes and laid on my sides, getting ready to lay there and NOT move. For the next few hours, my eyes would either stay glued to the TV or staring at the wall behind the technology.

***

At 230, I finally got up. I had not realized that I'd taken a nap, for the first time in two years... Oh, how it felt so good. But the minute I stood on my two feet, my head had started to throb. I walked over to the kitchen and popped two salmon-colored Advil pills. When my migraines come about, it is never good. But either way, I trudge on. I walked to my bedroom and changed my pajama pants in black leggings. I hadn't felt the need to change neither my shirt or shoes... The perks of not caring how you look. I wrapped my cotton-black hoodie around my waist, leaving my tattooed arms bared for the third time this week. I felt quite  proud of myself that I didn't conceal my permanent drawings, and I felt even more proud that I had them.

As I jogged down the stairs and out of the apartment building, the sun blinded my eyes. I threw on my black Aviator sunglasses and slowly stepped down over to the gate. Just as I closed it, I heard a voice.

"Daniella Velez..." Once I heard this, I didn't turn around right away. The deep, Puerto Rican accent originally whispered my forbidden name, but began saying it louder. "Daniella!" He screamed. I finally twisted my body and found a tall, lean boy the age of 17 standing there, flashing his infectious smile that I missed.

"Jayson?" I asked, eyes wide. Of course, he couldn't see my reaction, but the craning of my neck proved my recognition to him.

"Hey Dani," he said, still smiling his perfect, sharp teeth. I  sped walked to him, forgetting all about my migraine and hugged him. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and lifted me up a little from the ground.

I looked at him... My old best friend... "I missed you Jay." I whispered. When he looked at me, I punched him in the arm... Sorta playfully. "What  are you doing, here? Why didn't you tell me you were here?" I looked at him, not sure whether to smile or get mad. I had my missed my best friend so much, and then this one day, he finally decides to show up... What the hell?

He laughed lightly. "Chill, Dani. I came today. It was an emergency ticket."

I lowered my sunglasses and squinted at him. "Emergency? What happened?" It finally clicked in my head that Jayson has some family that live in Los Angeles, California too. 

His smile faltered a little bit, but returned... I know he was getting ready to hide away his feelings, but me being stubborn, I won't let that happen... At least not for long.

"Let's not worry about that now," he said, placing both of his arms on my shoulders. He looked behind me, "Going somewhereee," he asked, slurring his last word.

I looked at my phone, realizing I only had 10 minutes until my first day of punishment started. "Uh, yeah." I looked down at the concrete, "I got to-" 

His eyes wandered to my arms, then my face. "Daniella, what the fuck happened to you?" His eyes became red with anger. "Who did-"

I interrupted him. I knew this wasn't going to end well. "Listen, Jay. Not now. I got to go." Just as I walked away, he grabbed my hand, trying to pull me back.

"No, tell me now. I want to know. Who the fuck did this to you?" He asked harshly, gesturing towards the wraps I left on my arm and my bruised cheek. I shook my hand out of his grasp.

"Later," I said. "I got to go." As I jogged down the street, I turned and looked at Jay. How come this always happens to me? I thought. Just as I see my best friend face to face for the first time in TWO years, that's what happens. I pissed him off, practically bringing his bipolar side out of him. I see him pacing back and forth, pulling at his hair. From a blurry point of view, you could see him gritting his teeth, his frustration growing rapidly. Being in my slippers, I ran pretty fast, and ended up in the front of the school in 3 minutes.

***

Before walking through the main doors, I made sure I caught my breath. I wasn't a long run, but the feeling that I was trying to contain worsened my strength. It took me two minutes to relax my breathing and compose myself. Just as I pushed the door, I was met with Marco.

"Hey." He said vaguely.

I looked over at him as I folded  my glasses into the top of my tank. "Hey... How's your eye? And the blows you took to your stomach?" I tried to end the silence, but it wasn't working. Even though words were spoken, I felt like there was a hidden wall between us. Not sure why, but that tiny wall could add more bricks if I didn't say anything.

"I'm good. Just bruises. The only thing that's fucked up is this." He raised his left hand, with it was a bloody wrap, wrapping tightly and thickly around his knuckles. He balled his hand into a fist, then released it again, I guess showing that "he'll live" through the process.

I knew he was trying to get an emotion out of me, or at least have me talk about what happened... And I'm not just talking about the fight.

But for some reason, my mind didn't want me to do that. "Oh. Hope it heals fast." I forced all my emotions to wash away, leaving  a blank face. I watched him roll his eyes. But instead of reacting, I walked over to the Dean's office.

I spent the next two hours washing windows in the south wing with Marco beside me. We did this in silence, but I could feel his glancing slicing me. As if he sent little daggers to come flying towards me, giving me mental pain. But again, I forced myself not to react. And I kept spraying not and scrubbing. Spraying and scrubbing.

So much has happened in the past day. My head began to pound again like giant boulders crashing against each other. I got into a fight, got kissed, had absolutely NO sleep, and saw my long lost best friend. What more could a girl ask for? What more can the universe crash down on me? Then I heard a clash.

Marco had thrown his bottle of glass cleanser on the ground, and shoved the rolling garbage can away from him. "Damn, Dani!" He screamed, looking at me.

I stopped spraying and scrubbing. I stopped with the blank expressions. I stopped with holding it in. Now it was my turn to scream.