marked.

Code Blue, It's Green

It's different for Quinn's family. When they prepare a funeral, it's nothing at all gloomy.

Quinn died on October 19, 2015. The mass on his liver was tripling in size and grew to a full blown tumor. He was only in the hospital for a few weeks, but his body was rapidly shutting down. Everyday, he got weaker and weaker. Every time I looked at him when his heart was still beating, it looked as if death had already reached him. But now it has.

Quinn's family created t-shirts, tank tops, hats and bracelets all based on Quinn. They added his favorite color (green and blue) to the items to incorporate Quinn. Instead of oceans of tears, it was his favorite music playing in the background, with cafe with cheese and crackers, and Quinn on his bed. They prepared his body early and brought him to his house for a day. His family continued the tradition of having all family members and friends come and see him in his home, lying there, lifeless. 

Even though everyone dressed in color, both myself and Marco dressed in black. I wore a deep green bandana to honor Quinn, but black was still more reasonable for me when I saw him. I had planned to mourn for him... And I KNOW that it will be for a while. I walked up to the front porch, dressed in black skinny jeans with ripped knees, black Timberlands, Quinn's t-shirt, and the green bandana. I tied my hair in a neat bun, because for such occasions, I will NOT dress a mess.

I was greeted with kisses by his ex-wife, 80-year-old mother, his three brother and two sisters. Try each squeezed me until no breath was taken, and we all stood there for a long time. 

"He said you were going to be the first, mija. He knew it." His eldest sister, Marianna spoke of great assurance. "Quinn always knew you were a good one. He always said, 'give her a chance, and she will be the one.'" She began to tear up a little, "Quinn always knows." I took both of her hands and squeezed them. Marco opened the front door and held it for me; we simultaneously walked in together.

With everything that has happened, it still hasn't hit me that he was gone. It still didn't occur to me that by now, his soul will be flying up to Heaven. Not yet. This moment, right now, was supposed to secure that for me.

Marco held my hand and led me through the house. We took many turns and tried our best to dodge anything glass or valuable, for we felt that we'd might break something. We quietly stepped over to all the way in the back of the house.

There was a plain door just before the backyard one.

Marco looked at me with cautious but empathic eyes. He was facing just as much pain as I was, but; the only difference being that he was accepting his grief.... I was not. Yet. "You ready?" He asked.

I only looked at the door. There is no ready... No one, is ever ready for this. But you do it.

I walked into the room, taking in the full memory of him. I honestly thought it to be bad, for funerals were never good. You'd probably expect the deceased to hold a flower of some sort, or a picture. But no... You'd expect the face to look as if they were actually sleeping, or quite serious... That didn't happen either. I have been to funerals before, but right now... I'm going to Quinn's. It is NOTHING like another funeral.

He was smiling. Quinn was genuinely smiling. Although completely lifeless, he stamped his happiness on his body before he left. He was... Okay, when his heart stopped beating. Quinn went away, laughing. I looked at him now, and I noticed all the items that were going to be buried with him. All sprawled around his body, I saw a rosary, a bible, a miniature book of family photos, a letter to his father, a baseball pin, the store's logo... But then I stopped looking around. I saw that right next to his fingertips was a picture of me, smiling. Next to it was Marco sweeping up the shop. I picked both photos up and noticed there was writings on the back; 

Mine had read: My Inked Granddaughter❤️

Marco's wrote out: My Inked Grandson❤️

I looked over at Quinn. "You have a lot of tricks up your sleeve, don't you?" I asked o his body. I looked at the childish smile, and cracked one on myself. "Goodnight, Quinn." I kissed his forehead and walked outside.

***

Marco met up with me fifteen minutes after he had his moment with Quinn... His last conversation. Once he came, I spotted a tear that stung down his cheek. I walked over to come and wiped the leftover tear away. I grabbed his hand.

"Marco?"

He sniffed and quickly rubbed his nose. "Yes?"

"We did good. He wants us to be inked. We are inked. I'm happy we're inked." 

Yep. I'm Inked.