demure ➳ phan au

three

Phil's POV

I clutch my phone and let out a deep sigh. He's such a cutie I can't handle it, I just can't. He's upset about the anonymous thing, I know it. But at least he's talking to me, he wouldn't talk to me if I would just say who I am, why should he ? I feel the smile on my face, it almost hurts. I stare at my phone when I hear a knock on my door, by the sound of it I already now it's my mum. "Yes ?" I say loudly enough for her to hear.

"Philly, I'm home from work and lunch will be ready in about an hour, your grandma will come over for it so make sure you'll be ready, you know the way she is" she rolls her eyes. My mum's really cool and we do get along quite well. "Yes, I know. I'm glad you're home, mum". She smiles softly at me but then raises an eyebrow, "what are you so happy about, Phillip ? Did I miss something ?" she asks and she's giving me her typical iknowsomethingsup-look. "No mum, I'm just having a good day so far, no need to tell you something, don't worry" I try to play it off, obviously. I don't want her to know about it, not yet. I mean I can't just tell her I'm writing anonymous messages to someone, it's just nothing you'd tell your mum about, is it ? "Alrighty Philly" she laughs quietly "make sure to get dressed in a few". She smiles at me and leaves the room, shutting my door in silent. I seriously love my mum, she's actually quite cool for a mum and she is one of those persons you can't be unhappy with them around, it's weird. She says that about me as well but I highly doubt it's true.

I open my closet to get out my clothes for today. I decide to go for black skinny jeans, obviously, a marine shirt, because my grandma has the opinion that "a young man like you should always wear a shirt", and some glow-in-the-dark dinosaur socks because when it's not dark they appear to be black and I don't want to discuss with my grandma, not today.

I go into the bathroom and firstly I take a quick shower. Afterwards I look at myself in the mirror. I am extremely pale, my skin's almost as white as Britney Spear's teeth but I don't mind. I have no abs whatsoever and I don't have a very broad stature either, I've always been quite skinny, no matter how much I eat. My bright blue-green eyes contrast with my black fringe. Of course, my hair is not naturally black, I'm a ginger but I decided to colour it because I didn't like my ginger hair too much. I'm not exactly happy with the way I look but I don't mind that much either, I guess I'm looking quite normal, nothing special about me. Maybe that my head is shaped quite unusual but you can't tell because of my hair.
After drying my hair I get dressed and I go back to my room.

My room is displaying my personality quite good. The walls are painted in a dark blue and covered with pictures and posters of my favourite bands, animes, tv shows and of course lions. I love lions. There also are some Pokémon plushies and a few more lions. Did I already say that I love lions ? I sit down on my bed. My sheets are blue and green as well, which kinda suits the colour of my eyes. I check the clock. I have roughly 15 minutes left. I am so tempted to leave Dan a message but I don't want to cut him off when my grandma arrives. I let out a deep sigh and decide to browse tumblr for the remaining time. I look at some funny gifs, pictures of animals and plants as scrolling down my dashboard for the next 10 minutes before putting my phone into my pocket.

Halfway down the stairs I hear the bell ring so I jump down the other half to answer the door quickly. "My dear Philip!" is the first thing I hear after opening the door and before I am able to say something I am pulled in a very intense hug. I have to bend down around 20 feet because of the fact that my grandma is only 5'5 and I am 6'2, just a tad taller. After greeting her she lets go of me and starts looking at me like she examining every little detail of my face and body. She smiles widely while saying "You've grown so much since the last time I've seen you Philip. But you still look the way you've looked when you were 8". She looks just like my mum, in an older version.

When we enter the dining room my mum is coming over from our open kitchen and hugs my grandma tightly. They start talking about my dad and granddad and I lay the table because my mum didn't have time to do so yet. I place everything were it belongs neatly and ask my mum if I could help with anything else, what she denies so I sit down at my usual spot while my mum is serving the food.

While eating I listen to the conversation between my mum and grandma in which I'm included from time to time. I start to stop paying attention because I kinda thought about Dan when I suddenly hear my grandma ask "So dear, have you found a girl yet?". I look at her with a straight face, not wanting to tell her what I would like to tell her I simply say "no I haven't found anyone yet". My mum knows I'm bisexual but my grandma doesn't and I don't want her to know because I don't know how she would react. My mum smiles at me because I'm sure she knows exactly what I'm thinking. My grandma starts making plans about the marriage of me and her friends granddaughter and I just wanna go back to my room so I can talk to Dan again.

2 hours later my grandma leaves, secretly handing me 50£, as always when she comes over, I don't even know why, while my mum is getting her coat. I say "thank you" quietly and she hugs me tightly "everything for my little Philip. See you soon, dear". I wait until she drives away, tell my mum I'll go study now just to almost run upstairs.

After calming down a bit, I decide to check my phone. I pull it out of my pocket and light it up. I have a few notifications. I am kinda disappointed none of them is from Dan but then I remember. Why should he write the creepy anonymous guy a message ? I let out a deep sigh, again. I discuss with myself wether to write him or not because I don't want to appear too clingy already but on the other hand I really want to talk to him and I want him to know I'm not the way he thinks right now. Ugh. This is the perfect description of my situation right now. Just ugh. I change into something more comfy than jeans and a shirt, a.k.a pjs and unlock my phone, just to find the conversation I am looking for.

a/n: hi. I'm sorry this took me so long but I had bad migraine and I wasn't feeling great yesterday. However, here is the update. I'm trying to make the chapters a bit longer but since this is just the beginning it's quite hard to find topics to write about yet. I hope you like it nevertheless and I'll try to update as soon as possible but I'm busy studying the next days but I will try to write during my breaks x