Twins of Egypt

Chapter 14: Memories

[[Selene || 23 April 17 B.C.E]]

My stomach kept churning and I wanted to puke more, but I held my stomach and the wooden edge of the ship. The sour ill feeling would not wash away and I wanted to continue, but thankfully, Julia came to me and soothed me by rubbing my back. I looked at her face and breathed softly listening to the ocean.

"You missed your course," she stated rather than questioned.

"Unfortunately, yes." I felt dreadful and wretched for having a baby that could be from Tiberius.

"How long ago was your last course?"

"Five weeks ago, I am a week late this month," I hesitated saying the second part, "but Julia it could be Juba's child too..."

"I pray it's Juba's," Julia whispered, "because if it grows to look anything like Tiberius, Augustus will know. He will take him or her from you, Selene. Neither you nor I would desire that."

"He will take my baby," I rubbed my slightly grown belly.

"I am sorry, but he will."

"How could he find out?"

"If Juba does not accept the child or if his spies tell him first. How did Juba take the news that Tiberius...raped...you?"

"He wanted to murder Tiberius, but I stopped him. I promised him, that Tiberius will regret it." I felt lightheaded and removed myself from Julia to hold the sturdy wood.

"Come," Julia looked past my pride and helped me out of the deck, "let's talk more in a place that is safe. In the nursery perhaps, we can tell little Gaius the good news."

Selene smirked, "That he is going to have a cousin?"

Julia rubbed Selene's arm, "Not exactly. I mean the good news of you having a child, and by your symptoms, a healthy one. You are glowing, it must be a boy."

"I wish I would have Juba's boy,"

"Maybe it will be," Julia smiled, "whoever his father is, we will love him."

I nodded, ashamed. I wanted to fall apart. When I was younger, I dreamt of the moment I would have Tiberius' child, and in different circumstances, I did not wish it anymore. I wanted Juba's children, and he knew it. However, he did not forget that I once loved Tiberius. He lashed at me the night he returned from the sickbed, he wept angry tears and could not face me as if I had purposely destroyed our vows. He imagined that I would be afraid, scared, and disgusted, and was surprised that I was not. He interpreted that the wrong way and could not look at me. We left Augustus' court quarrelling and we were still on separate grounds. Telling him of my pregnancy would not ease the separation we were forced to encounter. I was extremely afraid, for the first time, of loosing him.

We entered the nursery, and seeing my pale face, Julia dismissed the nurses. She closed the wooden door and walked to her daughter who was also named Julia. Two-year-old Gaius familiar of me, walked over to me and I picked him up lovingly. He looked at my sad face curiously.

"Guess what Gaius," I spoke softly. Gaius made a soft little baby moan and touched my hair. This made me smile and I continued, "I am having a baby, he will be your future best friend." He smiled wide as if he understood me. "I want to name him Alexander Ptolemy, after my two brothers. He will be sweet like you. If it happens to be a girl, I will name her Kleopatra Arsinoe, after my mother and her sister. She will be as beautiful as Julia."

He seemingly enjoyed the prospects of having a new playmate and began to speak in a language I could and would never understand.

Julia took a seat beside me, carrying small Julia the younger, who we fashioned Julianna, in her arms. "He seems to be enjoying your news."