crumbling under pressure / c.t.h

f o u r t e e n

BANG!

I woke up to a huge sound coming from downstairs.

I immediately wake up and realize that Calum was still on Skype.

He took the computer to the kitchen.
He is so cute.

He actually took the computer with him to the kitchen to make sure when I wake up he would be there!

"Calum?! Did you hear that?!"
I panic.

"I did!"
Calum says in worry.

I get up and carry the computer with me into the hallway.
as I walk down the hallway more sounds go off.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I run with my laptop and slowly approach the stairs.

I take small steps down.
I finally reach the bottom of the stairs and I take soundless steps to the kitchen.

"AHHH!"
I scream as I realize my mom on the ground motionless.

"WHAT IS IT!?"
Calum screams.

I drop to the floor and place down my laptop facing my moms body.
Calum's eyes widen and his jaw drops.

I drop my computer and call and ambulance.

"Hello?! Yes my mother is on the floor and has a bullet in her stomach!"
I scream in terror.

Calum's jaw is basically on the floor and he was in so much shock.

The ambulance arrived shortly and took my mother away.
They demanded for me to take the computer away.

So I did.
I moved outside and onto my driveway as all of this commotion was happening.

I cross my legs and place my laptop on my lap.

"CALUM! MY M-MOM IS GONNA D-DIE!"
I scream.

Tears flow down my face without control.

"No! Alexandra don't think like that! It's gonna be ok!"
Calum spoke trying to calm me down.

"I already lost my dad! NOW IM LOSING MY FUCKING MOTHER!"
I scream in anger.

I was pissed.
Pissed at God for taking everybody I cared about away from me.

Fuck everything.
Everybody in my family is dying so why don't I join them.

"It's gonna be ok Alexandra. Please calm down!"
Calum spoke trying to console my feelings.

"NO! IF ONLY YOU WERE ACTUALLY HERE TO SUPPORT ME AND CUDDLE ME! IF ONLY YOU COULD BE HERE AND FINALLY CARE ABOUT ME FOR ONCE!"
I scream in complete anger.

Calum frowns.

Before he could talk I had to apologize.

"Calum... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that! I'm sorry.."
I spoke before he did anything.

Calum frowns and hangs up.
NO!

EVERYBODY IN MY LIFE HATES ME!
FIRST NICK, NOW CALUM?!

WHY ME?!
I slam my laptop close and cry in my knees.

A police officer taps me on my shoulder.

"Excuse me, we need the information on what happened"
The officer spoke.

I look up and wiped my tears off.
I tell him everything and hours pass.

I head over to the hospital hoping for great news that my mother didn't die.

But of course fucking not.
I didn't even know what to expect.

I just want to die.
Nick wants it.
Calum wants it.
Everybody in my family and people that don't even know me want it.

They want my body inside of the ground and dead.
I have no meaning.

4 hours later...

I cried over my moms fragile body in her hospital bed.

I heard footsteps come inside of the room.
Cold arms wrapped around my tender body.

I turn my neck to feel Calum kissing my neck.
He start to kiss his lips and I press my chapped lips onto his wet lips and lick around his mouth.

I keep kissing him showing the affection I needed to show.

I delicately hold his hands as my lips pressure onto his.
He picks me up continuing to press his warm lips against mine.