Never Let Me Go

Needing Space

Alexs PoV

I got home from the beach a little after 7. I didnt want to go home right away so i went on a hike into the woods, just to clear my head. It didnt really help. I wanted Tobin, more than ever, but i already made a commitment to Pride and once a trade is final you cant back out. I never wanted things to end up this way. I love Servando, dont get me wrong, thats why i married him. But something about Tobin just gives me butterflies every time i see her. Shes definitely my best friend but theres obviously more to it, i just cant seem to figure it out.

Once i put my keys on the coffee table i went to go change into pj's. Knowing that today has been very long, very upsetting, and very exhausting. Ive thought about calling tobin but i know that wouldnt do this situation any good. I notice all the boxes in the corner of the living room, reminding me of the heartbreak that is soon to come in a month. I dont know if i can deal with this. I head back to my bedroom, laying down and letting my thoughts consume me as i slowly drift off to sleep.

Tobins PoV
I awake to my phone ringing rather loud and obnoxiously next to my bed. I pick it up and look at the caller ID, Out of Country, i wonder who this could be.

"Hello?" I say.

Tobin? Alloy, this is PSG manager, have you made your decision?

Oh my god, i completely forget all about the paper. PSG had called me about a month ago to discuss a new contract for the NWSL offseason, i told them id think about it, but i so did not think about it. I just forgot. I didnt want to say yes right away when they asked because i didnt know if i should stay with lex during the offseason. Lex. Now that shes leaving i have no point on staying around in Portland. I could go, get away from her, from every dramatic thing in our lives. This would be good.

Tobin? Are you there?

"Ah yes! Right here sir! Um ive thought about it alittle and..." my voice trailed off thinking about yesterday. I need this. I need to get away.

Yes and your decision Tobin?

"...and ill be seeing you at the beginning of the season sir."

Ah sounds great Tobin! We cant wait to have you back! Be here before christmas at the earliest please! Have a good day.

Holy shit did i just really do that. After all the stuff Ash and Ali told me. What the hell did i do. I start freaking out, not believing what i told him, i cant actually leave...can i? Nobodys here anymore, not after Alex. So i guess its for the better for me to go.

I start to calm down, picking up the phone and calling Kelley, because shes the only one that knows how i feel about Alex. She picks up on the 4th ring, practically yelling into the phone.

"TOBY!" I wince at the nickname.

"Hey squirrel, how ya doing."

"Im doing a-okay, but you, you dont sound so well, whats up?" She says, probably hearing the hesitation in my voice.

"Nothings going good KO, i found out alex was getting traded through the news, i blew up on her when she walked into my apartment, then i stormed off leaving her to cry and later at the beach doing the same thing...and maybe signing with PSG again. Im just so confused kell, i dont know what to do anymore. I love her but i cant have her. I could never have her. Shes with serv and shes happy. Thats all i want for her but it pains me to see her...all...the...time." I say with tears starting to surface. I clench my jaw to stop them from crying.